A good auto mechanic is smart, safe, and competent. Bad mechanics are none of those things. But it looks like no matter who your mechanic is, when presented with the sweet, sweet siren song of a Lamborghini Gallardo, they won't be able to resist the temptation of taking it for a joyride and totaling it in short order.
Niklas Schwartz, a 29-year old mechanic from Rainbach, a small town in Austria, had just completed some minor repairs to the little Lambo when he heard its call, according to the Daily Mail.
"Drive me, please baby, drive me," the Lamborghini was not reported to have said. "You know you want to, you know you need to, you know you might never have the chance again."
Niklas was then not reported to have trembled, quivering at the thought of blasting down his local alpine roads, powered by naught but his own passion and a 520 horsepower V10. He fought the temptation, quietly at first, know he should've gone about his business as a simple small-town mechanic.
"Pleeeeasssssssse," the ten cylinders were not reported to have wailed.
And still, he resisted.
Their song grew louder, more urgent, and all the same, more pleasant. Maybe he'd just get behind the steering wheel, just to see how it felt. Just to try it on. Just for a taste.
But that's it, no more. He'd go right on back to changing the air filter or whatever it is counts as "minor maintenance" and not a $50,000 change of sparkplugs that's the purview of many a mid-engined Italian sports car.
He slipped into the driver's seat, slowly, gingerly at first, he knew the Forbidden Fruit was not his. Suddenly he found his finger sliding over the ignition button, calling to him, beckoning him to his ruin.
Niklas pressed it, and the V10 sprang into life, more real than he had ever heard it before.
Within minutes, their song had lured him astray, and there he found himself, upside down and dashed upon a guardrail.
It was not reported to be a lot like that scene from O Brother Where Art Thou?
Except it was not reported to have sounded like this:
Poor guy, he never stood a chance.
Niklas and his 24-year old passenger were reported to have escaped without serious injury. Cops arranged for them to catch a ride home on a tow truck, because apparently in Austria stealing and flipping a Lamborghini that doesn't belong to you is considered totally understandable, and maybe slightly funny, and also not an arrestable offense.
Photo credit: Mario Kienberger/FF Matzelsdorf