I’ll admit, I don’t have 100% absolute proof, but I believe we’re on the cusp of a remarkable opportunity. Pretty soon — not tomorrow, but soon — fully autonomous cars will be here, driving our asses around. And, in much the same way that aircraft autopilot was almost immediately used to bone, so will bonings follow. And you could be first.

There’s not many times when you, with a little bit of planning, can actually find yourself in a position to be a very important historical footnote. I’m sorry, a very sexy historical footnote. Here, let me explain my thinking.

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Up to now, I do not believe anyone has had sex while riding in an autonomously-driven passenger car. I think the technology is still too young, and right now almost every trip in an autonomous car has been for either research and development purposes, competitions, troubleshooting, or media/promotions. None of those categories leaves much room for on-getting activities.

There really hasn’t been much opportunity for un-monitored, private time in anonymous cars even for the people developing them, which is why I’m so skeptical anyone has thrown downwardly in one, while in operation, yet. I could be wrong, though, and if I am, I encourage you to let me know, because this is the sort of thing humanity has a right to be aware of.

So, since I don’t think it’s happened, that leaves an opportunity. It won’t be easy in the near-term, since these fully autonomous vehicles aren’t really in private hands right now, and the current state of the tech, if we keep on insisting on having things like weather around, still needs work.

Also, it should be made clear that having sex in a driving autonomous car will probably be illegal, too, at least at first. An alert and non-humping driver will likely be required to be ready and able to take over driving if there’s any issue — which you, potential mobile sex-haver, wouldn’t be. So be ready for at the very least a ticket and a fine to go with your potential glory.

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I suspect that whoever manages to do this first will likely be wealthy (to either buy an early autonomous car or have the connections to get access to one prior to their sale) and probably extroverts since, you know, these people will be willing to have sex in an autonomous car and let everyone know.

I don’t think it will be easy. I think, right now, the most likely automotive candidate is a Tesla, in auto-pilot mode, on a highway. I think the earliest it could happen is sometime later this year. And even then, the Tesla really isn’t totally autonomous, so I’m not exactly sure how feasible it is, since the unspoken rules state that the car must be driving itself while the two (0r more, knock yourselves out) passengers go at it.

I guess what I’m saying is I think we’ll have a window of about 6-10 months before this is likely to happen. That should give you erotic daredevils plenty of time to plan. This is your chance to make your mark on automotive history and, probably, some leather seats.

Godspeed, you crazy libidinous kooks.