The Toyota Corolla Will Merely Absorb Everything It Cannot Destroy

Scion is dead, and the little Scion iA (a rebadged Mazda2 with a sad button) and Scion iM (a rebadged global-market Corolla Hatchback) are now the Yaris iA and Corolla iM. Praise be Corolla. Praise its power of absorption.

There need be no more Scions. There need only be Corolla. Someday perhaps Yaris, too, will return to Corolla, as the Matrix did before it. Would only my dreams physically manifest and all cars will be Corollas.

We will be free of the burden of choice. Let all cars be Corollas in a liberating sameness. Clean. Orderly. Reliable.

There is safety in Corolla.