Photo Credit: Scion (RIP). This car, the Scion iM, will wear a Toyota badge again.

Scion is dead, and the little Scion iA (a rebadged Mazda2 with a sad button) and Scion iM (a rebadged global-market Corolla Hatchback) are now the Yaris iA and Corolla iM. Praise be Corolla. Praise its power of absorption.

Photo Credit: Toyota. The Scion iA has already been rebadged into the Toyota Yaris iA for 2016.

There need be no more Scions. There need only be Corolla. Someday perhaps Yaris, too, will return to Corolla, as the Matrix did before it. Would only my dreams physically manifest and all cars will be Corollas.

We will be free of the burden of choice. Let all cars be Corollas in a liberating sameness. Clean. Orderly. Reliable.


There is safety in Corolla.

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.

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