COTD: May the fourth be with you edition

The power of the Fourth was strong with the Jalopnik commentariat today, frequently turning back the dark side, or at least estimating how much more horsepower it might get with just a little caliper paint. But only one commenter reached a Jedi-like position of two possible winners, and so alan505 prevails for both his "papers, please" remark regard Donald Trump and imagining a Libyan getaway for another media maven, Jesse James:

Publicist: Jesse, you know how you were looking for a gig that would rehabilitate your image...

JJ: I'm listening.

Pub: How would you like to work with interesting people in a rock-n-roll environment where you are tasked with designing, producing, and maintaining one-off mechanized killing machines?

JJ: Sweet, I'm in!

Pub: Awesome! I'll forward you the standard release wavier and other misc paperwork. Did I mention that you'll be working in the Mediterranean?

JJ: Sweet, the Riviera! I'm soooo stoked!