Jalopnik
Al Navarro is a co-founder of Mint Advertising, an independent advertising agency in New Jersey. On occasion we ask him to talk about certain topics in advertising. Today's not one of those days. Today he's talking about something even more near and dear to his heart — Jalopnik. He also drives a Caterham Superlight R (albeit for just a few more weeks), so don't front.
I've been hanging around the halls of the Jalopnik for nearly 2 years now. And I've seen a lot of writers and commenters come and go. Lately, it seems like the postviews as well as the commenteriat have grown by leaps and bounds. And for the most part, I welcome the new additions and new energy.
However, I have noticed some less than positive comments over the past few months by some of the newer screen names (and some not so new). I have always looked to the Jalop as a refuge from the usual "Suck it, f-wad...my [INSERT MAKE AND MODEL OF PREFERRED CAR HERE] rulz over all [INSERT OTHER MAKE AND MODEL HERE]" and "So-and-so is a buttaface." antics that are readily available in other corners of the Internet. And so, inspired by Anna Holmes' "Girl's Guide to Commenting on Jezebel", I propose the following words to live by:
Read the comments before commenting yourself.
No really. It's one thing to be eager to chime in on a particular topic, and another thing entirely to ignore the comments logged so far in pursuit of adding your two cents ASAP.
By not reading comments before posting your own, you are showing a lack of respect for your fellow commenters and setting yourself up for the dreaded "totally redundant comment". Yes, we understand that sometimes the Gawker Media hamster slows down sufficiently so that you may miss some comments while penning your own brilliant entry — but by all means at least try to review what's been already said before adding your voice to the conversation. It generally doesn't take that much time to scan comments as long as the count is under 100, so do it.
Read your own comment several times before hitting that "submit" button.
Until Gawker Media institutes an "edit" feature, the only way to make sure your comments turn out just as you intended is to carefully proofread them before posting. Did you mean "you're" when you wrote "your"? "It's" when you meant "Its"? The little "Preview Comment" feature is very helpful for this sort of quality control, btw.
Taking this breather before submitting a comment may also save you from a case of commentarhea...there are plenty of times where I have a comment sitting there in the preview screen that I re-read and then end up deleting — no need to add that particular thought to the flow of things. And I think my commenting reputation (see that star?) has benefited from these deletions.
Do your part to make Jalopnik a club of gentlemen, not a "gentlemen's club".
It's no surprise that the readership and commenter pool of Jalopnik is predominately male. But this fact does not give you carte blanche to act like a total asshat, especially on posts that have to do with women — whether racers or booth babes trade show booth professionals.
Overly reactionary or chauvinist comments to the brave women who do chose to share their opinions here (many of them visitors from other Gawker sites) are also unbecoming. Plus they do wonders for maintaining our poor male-female ratio.
The ability to remain anonymous in commenting allows people to say things that they might not otherwise say. And many times, as when industry types comment, this is a great thing.
But if you are not an industry type (and even if you are), please do not abuse this freedom. A good rule of thumb is not to write anything you'd be ashamed to show your mother, wife, lifepartner, or child. Trust me, people who go against this guideline end up looking very silly.
So where do you stand on cursing?
I'm sure many of the readers log on to Jalopnik from their place of work. And, from what I've been told, many places of work frown on sites that contain profanity (nudity, too). Some even have filters and wheel-running hamsters of their own to police this sort of thing.
And so, in the interest of making the Jalop accessible to all, it's probably a good idea to try and limit your use of curse words when commenting. Want more reasons? See the last paragraph of the previous section.
Again, that's not to say swearing is verboten, but it should only be used if it's adding value to the substance of your comment. By the way, being childlike is not what is meant by "substance."
Racism, Classism, Sexism, and other -isms are always unwelcome. As are homophobia, xenophobia, and many of the other -phobias.
No explanation necessary.
Make every comment an opportunity to win COTD.
There are some folks on here of whom I am in daily awe. I'm a copywriter by trade, and I'm truly stunned by the eloquence of many of my fellow commenters. Those stars are well earned, dadgummit.
Touching or revealing personal stories, clarifications or corrections of posts and/or other comments, and attempts to educate readers about the topic at hand or some semi-related one, are always welcome. Articulate oppositions to opinions, too. And of course, do all you can to introduce the literary, musical, gastronomic (which I use here in a loose sense that includes beer and other fine beverages), and the obscure into the discourse.
Oh, and while I'm at it...remember that you all have the power to recommend fellow commenters for COTD. Like the power of self-restraint, I advise you use this power often.
Beware the one liner.
The temptation to dash off a clever and pithy phrase looms large. But as with stand-up comedians, it takes a very good one liner to get a laugh these days. A comment thread filled with one-liners can start to sound like a bad text message stream. Between teenagers. Poorly educated teenagers. There are exceptions to this rule, of course (like the recent Bond test driver post), but in general, I'd avoid it.
I'm sure I've opened up my very own pandora's box of haterade by penning this, but as the kids say, whatevs. Someone had to say it. BTW, when I discussed the possibility of writing this piece with Ray, he suggested the headline. Not bad for the guy in the virtual corner office.
I'm sure I'll be adding to these guidelines in the future, but feel free to add your own words of advice below.
Comments
FIRST POST
Now thats funny. c'mon.
This cancer is mainly the result of 4chan. I blame them for all of the failures of the internet.
I really want to post something here that's witty, insightful, pertitent to the discussion at hand, and devoid of spelling errors, but I'm fixated on the little girl in that photograph. How does she carry a backpack that seems to be nearly as large as she is?
@boognish: noob
@boognish: thats the first time i've ever laughed so hard at one of these posts. Literally guffaw-worthy.
These rules are the same as the personal rules I use. As i'm not a worldly-experienced as other commentaters, I usually keep quiet as they will make the good points, whereas i'd just chime in with unoriginal comments that don't add much to the topic. I've deleted a my own comments a few times.
@boognish: I laughed, probably more than I should have. You selflessly jumped on that humor grenade. Kind of low hanging fruit, but I'll give you points.
So far I've been suppressing the urge to nuke any commenter whose only contribution to a discussion is the comment "OLD!" or "This is so old" (which may be translated as "I've already seen this somewhere else, so you suck and I don't").
I concur with all of this, except that oftentimes one-liners are the funniest comments.
And in defense of redundant comments, it should be noted that there is frequently a considerable lag between the time a comment is posted and the time it actually appears - at least, that's been my experience - and it's hard to avoid being redundant if you don't know your own pithy comment has already been made but isn't yet visible.
Very nicely done, Al. A gentle correction to keep Jalop headed in the right direction.
I do wonder, though, if we will ever get to the bottom of the mystery of the stars and Cotomer Sevis Representative boondoogle...seems as if Jalop Masters need to acknowledge that at least, for their part...
@DannyBN: She probably has superpowers. I'm guessing lazer vision, maybe talking to invertebrates. Oh wait, we're supposed to be on topic? Sorry Mr. Navarro.
Al. thanks for spending the time and effort needed to write this post.
I also vote that when directing a response to a particular previous comment, you make an effort to quote part of what that person originally said (quotes, italics, etc).
This is so much easier than having to jump around to understand some side commentary that could be very valuable and/or funny.
That's all I have.
I will not stand idly by while bigots like this tell me my arachnophobia is "unwelcome".
To all of the soon to be "haters" out there, the first post thing was a joke, I have never committed this offense here, or in any other site, and never will.... again. I am guilty of not reading all of the comments, but usually try to get through the first page of them, before commenting. That being said BMWz Suxxor da dic n HUMMER drivers have none. so there.
@maxforrest32: Last thing I heard the Jalops would get right on it after they finished shipping a Maybach to Azerbaijan for official government use.
And, thanks as always to Al for his all-to-rare insights, and for having the guts to forgo pseudonyms when posting here.
@maxforrest32: And we still need to know what Ray drove to prom night, er, the reunion.
Al's extremely well written article said nothing about thread jacking, so here I go!
"He also drives a Caterham Superlight R (albeit for just a few more weeks), so don't front."
Have I missed something? are you selling the 7? are you replacing it with something else?
@Steel_ETC: I was hoping to get my Maybach before they did...alas...yet another unanswered mystery.
Is that what they say or is that what you say? Because if that's what they say, then I have no comment.
And if that's what you say, well, then...I have no comment.
"Read the comments before commenting yourself."
Being one of those who reads from work sometimes makes this difficult, but I have made an ass of myself on a few occasions by posting before reading everything.
@boognish:
Relax dude, that was very funny.
On another note, can the people who fund the hamsters that keep the posting engine running not buy some more hamsters to speed up the posting speed?
I notice there's no mention of the ever increasingly "popular" song lyric comments. No offense Polar, but it has started to take over the place with all of the imitators.
"Racism, Classism, Sexism, and other -isms are always unwelcome. As are homophobia, xenophobia, and many of the other -phobias.
No explanation necessary."
So I guess this rules out any comments about how the new Camaro will look in 10-15 years when they can be found on blocks in trailer parks, huh?
Bummer.
Actually this little previously unwritten nugget is one of the reasons I enjoy this site so much. Car culture in general is very straight male oriented, and seeing other openly gay members of the commenteriat being accepted as they are on this site is incredibly refreshing.
"I also vote that when directing a response to a particular previous comment, you make an effort to quote part of what that person originally said (quotes, italics, etc)."
@Ash, Pillar of Decorum: I REALLY wish this place quoted the original poster when replying to a post, just like every UBB based message board ever does. Would make life much easier.
Al, Great job...But I have to believe we will allow pyrrhonism, or else the comments will get really boring.
From what I've seen around here, many Commenters and even a few Contributor-slash-Associate Editors are not very tight about the proper use of apostophes (plurals vs. possessive).
And about "its" vs. "it's"
and "they're", "their", and "there",
"then" and "than",
"here" and "hear",
and this morning's "queue" and "cue" (although that one made me smile out loud).
Of course, we are all merely human (and my touch-typing skills betray my age and past access to what social anthropologists know as a "secretary"...)
Far be it for me to become a spelling-and-grammar fascist.
this post makes me dream of an automotive valhalla were everyone on jalopnik is hanging around a varnished oak paneled room wearing smoking jackets. driving around automocars with herculean power to weight ratios
trying to open a public forum and ask people or lesser beings to behave is like what teachers in public school have known all along..its not gonna happen...granted we all make mistakes, al you have jumped my post a few times, but in haste or time constraints unwitting, sometimes posts are not added when we would wish. again, a open forum, being what it is, is open to mistakes and words and points not wished to be heard or taken...some people's kids...otherwise, either monitor the posts for us, ala chinese web masters, or let the water find its own level and the buyers beware
@LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot:
"I REALLY wish this place quoted the original poster when replying to a post, just like every UBB based message board ever does. Would make life much easier. "
Just like an edit button, or faster hamsters, etc.
@Chinese Knockoff Bento:
I was skeptical of the one-liner prohibition but am no longer.
@Chinese Knockoff Bento: So long as that comment was posted with sarcastic intent, I'll agree with you. If not, please, get a backbone and make a decision. America needs more people with a backbone.
@boognish: Seeing that Al says that I have the power to nominate for COTD, allow me to nominate this for COTD.
The guidelines are welcome, I think COTD encouraged the poor commenting trend though.
@rlj676:
Indeed.
Thanks Al.
It needed to be said.
Sometimes I think that the banhammer needs to come out more frequently.
I'd like to point out that certian philia's may be as unwelcome as a phobia. I, for one, would like to keep the necrophilia off of this site. I know that's been a problem as of late.
@damnElantra: That vision evokes copious amounts of Morgans. (The car company, just to clarify.)
Al needs a title in the sidebar. "Elder Statesman" seems fitting (even though you're not that old)
The piece perfectly captures the spirit of discourse that I love about this site.
Telling me wagons aren't cool is one kind of bad, but if all you can offer is "yeah but its still a turdstang", please find somewhere else to waste time.
Conformity is for bitches. As long as you are not being disrespectful, say what ever the fuck you want how ever you want. Let the fellow commenter's weed out the riffraff. If you are concerned about vulgar language at work maybe work isn't the appropriate place for you to view this site. Also, a lot can be said in one line. I have alwasys thought less is more.
Ruls piss me off.
Well put, Al. This is on par with some of the great treatises, like Luther's 95 Theses, or the memo that Jerry Maguire wrote at the beginning of the film.
In all seriousness though, hats off.
Eloquently stated and ideals that I try to strive for... yet I tend to go against them all.
I am trying to be a better person/commenteriat/Cotomer Sevis Rep/etc ....
...But I'm trying Ringo, I'm trying real hard to be the shepard...
@RalphieDC: [gardenstatesevens.org]
It seems Al's doing some wierd thing called "being responsible."
As Al's writing has let us peer deep inside the love affair he's had with his Se7en, you get the idea that he must love his wife and kids a lot. Must be tough, but cars come and go from the reality garage, but as anyone who's lost someone close to them knows:
"...for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Jalopnik sits atop the online autoforum heirarchy as a tiara does atop Marilyns' head.
Jalopnik is to Autoblog as Burger King is to Macdonalds.
As Carburettors are to Engine Management
As French Knickers are to a Thong
As The Black Crowes are to ZZ Top
As Bishops Finger is to Worthingtons
As a Riva Aquarama is to a Bayliner
As Martin Logan is to JBL
and as Grenada is to Tenerife.
I'm staggered, constantly, by the quality of writing. Even the most disposable of comments has a depth rarely found in most news-store journals. Virtually everybody on here deserves an official title.
Pats on the back, all.
We has teh skillz.
@FreeMan: On the reunion ride, seconded and thirded. Perhaps fourthed.
@poxpopulus: I think you meant to say--
I was skeptical of the one-liner (CR)(LF)
prohibition but am no longer.
Thank you, Mr. Navarro.
@charles_barrett: God bless you for this post. May I also add that it's "COULDN'T care less?" (May I also gently point out that it's "Far be it FROM me?")
@Rust-MyEnemy: Seeing as Al says I should nominate for COTD frequently, I'd like to nominate this for COTD.
A well thought through, and welcome lesson Al. I know I have been guilty of several of the noted faux pas (what the heck is the plural form of faux pas? Damn 8th grade French!) but try my best to be a contributing part of the community and when I don't have anything constructive to say, I go for the low-road; humor.
Normally Jalopnik is pretty civil, however I have expected the mighty ban hammer might be wielded on more than a few occasions lately.
I'd also like to add a admonition to those asking for more weekend or evening postings, or complaints about the quality of postings (slow news day, etc...). Remember how much you are paying for the opportunity to be here, and how much effort goes into the great content we have. Okay, I'm off the soapbox now.