Jalopnik
We resisted the temptation today to pull our own shenanigans, mostly because tearing the wraps off a fake photoshopped Ford Ranchero was too obvious. Similarly, calling a fold to the sham that is Chryslerberus would have just been plain mean. Luckily, we knew the online automotive world would pick up the slack. Sure enough we were right, and we quickly found ourselves inundated with all kinds of April Fools' hijinks. Without further ado, below are the ten most amusing automotive hoaxes of the day. Make sure to vote for your favorite.
Kia KEE wii Concept
Kia pulled our leg ever so gently with a "concept" which saw the replacement of the steering wheel with a Wii controller. The only problem we see with a video game controller is the parents would drive into walls. The kids however would possess F1-like canyon-carving abilities. [Carscoop]
BMW Dog Pee Proof Wheels
What April Fools' Day can pass without a good old fashioned urination joke? MetroUK revealed BMW working on something called Canine Repellent Alloy Protection, an acronym-based system of electrified wheels capable of delivering a 200 volt shock to Rex's wiener. Wow, who knew BMW was just a bunch of phallus-haters? [Metro.co.uk]
Camaro Monza
While the idea of a three door Camaro warms the cockles, and the extra care taken to embed fake watermarks is impressive, the GMInsideNews Camaro Monza remains nothing more than a pipe dream. We wait patiently for Ford to answer back with a docked Mustang. [GMInsideNews]
Jaguar XF-C
Carscoop jumped into the foolishness feet first with a photoshopped Jag XF Coupe they're calling the XF-C. We weren't buying it, especially when we noticed it doesn't have door handles. And not like in that hidden CTS Coupe concept way. There's seriously no way to open the doors. Still, due diligence led us to a frantic quick phone call to Jag PR, who assured us it was nothing more than a hoax. Still, if Tata wants design direction for their shiny new brand, this wouldn't be a bad place to look. [Carscoop]
Oldsmobile Makes Return Under Toyota Management
The merry pranksters at Car und Driver announced Toyota had acquired the rights to the defunct Oldsmobile brand and were ready to bring it back to life. The new vehicles on display at C&D's jolly joke of an article stayed true to the Olds heritage of strict platform prostitution, but it was obvious this was a hoax as it would be the worst strategic decision in automotive history. [Automobile, Car & Driver]
German Model Eva Padberg Shills for Kia Rio
While we're not certain it's meant to be an April Fools' joke — in fact we're pretty sure it isn't — the desktop-sized images of German model Eva Padberg splayed across the hood of the Kia Rio are funny to us. So funny we have a gallery. Maybe funny's not the word. Aroused? Yeah, maybe that's it. [Carscoop]
Ford Logo Redesign
Taking top honors in the "Least Time Invested" category, Brand New claims we missed what would have been the only news out of Ford at the New York Auto Show, a redesign of it's famed blue oval. The new badge would certainly improve packing efficiency when shipped to idle factories. [Brand New]
Toyota Confirms Scion Pickup Based on Tundra
That Mike Levine at PickupTruck.com is such a prankster. A Scion based on the Tundra is about as real as the faux high school hipsters in its targeted purchasing demographic. [PickupTruck.com]
Customize your Lambo with Hand Picked Cows
With the never ending march of more complete customization, Motive thought they'd pull a fast one and announce a new program from Lamborghini wherein owners would have the privilege of picking the specific cows with which to outfit their cars' interior. Amusing concept, but a story far too filled with descriptions of cow feces to be anything more than college boy humor. Did we mention it smells like someone farted over there? [Motive]
MotoGP Announces Season Canceled — Nazi Sex Orgies To Blame
Do not pass go, do not collect your ticket refunds. MotoGP decided to spend your hard-earned dollars on Nazi Sex Orgies instead of having a season. We give this one bonus points for actual topicality given today's biggest and most distasteful story in racing. [IndianaMotoGP]
Also see:
Seven New Cars We Wish Were April Fools' Day Jokes
Top photo credit to the witty denizens of the Motor Trend Forums
Hat tip on two links via Automobile Magazine Forums
Comments
i pissed on an X6, nothing happened F*** U BMW.
Oldsmoyotas FTW!
that wouldve been funnier if toyota had entered
NASCAR with um.
OLDS VS. GM FTW>BTW.
Best hoax Eva? Probably the one that wasn't a hoax. It's simultaneously sad and .. enlightening.
@dculberson: Hi-HO!
Oh Nazis, a neverending well of humor.
The GP thing.... could have been done.... then again, maybe not.
I don't know if the Camaro Monza is most creative, but it is probably the most bitchin.
I went with the dog pee countermeasures... leave it to a Germanic moto-giant like BMW to totally over-engineer a solution to something that is mostly a non-issue for most people. Kinda like the iDrive overkill for the last few years...
I voted for the Camaro Monza, as Bob Lutz would probably rather NOT remind the car-buying public of the Chevy Monza (IMSA racers excepted) and its badge-engineered siblings. I think the Lamborghini thing is the most believable-- in fact, I'd be willing to bet that if you showed up at the Lamborghini factory with a briefcase full of cash and a couple cows, they'd be happy to upholster your new Gallardo with ol' Bessie's hide.
Oh, and I'd like to congratulate Kia for finally finding a way to bring some positive attention to the Rio.
April Fool's Headline for next year:
Ray Wert Leaves Editor-in-Chief position at Jalopnik,
POLAЯ Takes Over?!?!?!
Toyota doesn't need Oldsmobile, they're already selling tons of cars to senior citizens with the Scion brand.
Jaguar, please design your entire vehicle lineup after the above illustration.
Thank you.
I why look at the star, it is? I think that one we want!!
Star Commenter?!?!?!
The Olds adverts were a hoot. But I kept going back to the Kia Rio in black time and time again for some reason. Hmm, time to revisit once again.
lame. I liked previous years entries like the Lotus heavy duty pickup, with a GVW of under 1000lbs. Or the Mini full-sized SUV that could fit a Mini in the rear cargo area.
@やのГ人Я - Is commenter of the stars: OK polar, I'll give you a star.
@voodoojoo: I vote for you.
@OneWithNature: Toyota entering NASCAR??? Now it really IS April Fools.
Frankly, I'm surprised none of the selection involved a Rick Roll. Everyone I know everywhere on every page has been sending me blind links to Rick Astley like they invented it.
I think I like the new Ford logo better... someone send them a memo.
The funniest, yet incredibly bad (mean) April fools joke:
One man hacked into a site and forum specializing in helping epileptic folks. Once hacked, he added lots of rapidly flashing images.
You get the rest. Kinda laughed, then felt bad, lol..
And, today, supergluing coins infront of the venting machines at school. OH TEH LOLZ
THATS what the Camaro should have looked like. All coupes should actually be fastbacks or hatchbacks. Death to trunks.
I guess I'm getting old, but is that Tundra picture any different that a regular Tundra? I did like the reference in the Pickup.com article to the spokesperson, April Fursten!
@Ray Wert:
WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I feel like singin'
Prince- Purple Rain - Baby I'm a Star!
Hey, look me over
Tell me do you like what you see?
Hey, I ain't got no money
But honey I'm rich on personality
Hey, check it all out
Baby I know what its all about
Before the night is through
You will see my point of view
Even if I have to scream and shout
Baby I'm a star
Might not know it now
Baby but I are, I'm a star
I don't want to stop, until I reach the top
Sing it! We are all a star!
Hey, take a listen
Tell me do you like what you hear?
If it don't turn you on
Just say the word and I'm gone
But honey I know, ain't nothing
Wrong with your ears
Hey, check it all out
Better look now or it just might be to late (just might be to late)
My lucks gonna change tonight
There's gotta be a better life
Take a picture sweetie
I ain't got time to waste
Oh baby I'm a star
Might not know it now
Baby but I are, I'm a star
I dont want to stop, until I reach the top
Sing it! We are all a star!
Everybody say, nothing come to easy
But when you got it baby, nothing come to hard
You'll see what I'm all about (see what I'm all about)
If I gotta scream and shout (if I gotta scream and shout)
Baby baby (baby) baby (baby) baby (baby)
Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah star!
Might not know it now
Baby but I are, I'm a star
I don't want to stop, until I reach the top
Sing it! star
Baby baby baby
Oh baby I'm a star
Baby baby baby
Somebody
(we are all a star)
(baby I'm a star)
We are all a star
We are all a star
Doctor!
Baby, baby, baby, baby,
Baby, baby, baby, baby
We are all a star
KEEYAAA BABY!!
Alligator taste like chicken, too!!
I'd like to say thank you Jalopnik souls for being the straight man in the crowd of wannabe comedians today. Please make this a tradition, k?
@HDC: Your sayin it wrong...
I the mind of Jalopnik which today appreciates in being the straight person of crowd of the comedian of wannabe desire the fact that you say. Do tradition and k in this?
A New Side To Formula 1
April 1, 2008, 11:32 CET
PARIS, France (AP)- This morning, the FIA announced possibly the most radical movie tie-in deal ever. The Grand Prix of Monaco will be the site of a major promotion the upcoming feature film "Speed Racer". The course will be modified to incorporate elements from the tracks featured in the motion picture. The most extreme change will be to the famed tunnel beneath the Fairmont Monte Carlo Hotel. It has often been speculated that Formula 1 race cars produce enough downforce to drive upside down on the ceiling of a tunnel, but this year it will finally be proven. "Recently, I lost a little bloo- er, I was at the picture house with my grandchildren and and saw a preview for this "Speed Racer" film," said recently disgraced FIA President Max Mosley, "and I said, 'Why, well that's bloody brilliant!" Wind tunnel testing by top F1 team engineers have shown that running the cars upside-down is feasible, if not dangerous. Drivers seemed apprehensive about the idea, though none would answer my questions as they did not seem to take the idea seriously. This is not the first time that movies have been promoted at the Monaco GP. Red Bull Racing has run promotional paintschemes at the track in the past, and in 2004, the Jaguar Racing team attached €160,000 ($250,000) Steinmetz diamonds to each of its cars(one of which was lost in a first-lap incident).
@smokyburnout: Geez, another one of those Russian BMW ads?
Dog proof wheels, just cause i want some
The Rio add is obvioulsly a hoax. A grown adult is leaning on the hood of a Rio, and it hasn't caved in.
Re: HDC
Well, Jalopnik needed a day off. =)
Vote in for Motive!
Man, there are stars sprouting all over the place here. Is there some sort of master list so we can find those deemed worthy and worship them?
@Schweppes: I was as surprised as you about getting "the star treatment". I suppose that now I shall want to wear a pager to know when and where my special services are required... *grin*
@charles_barrett: You know, when I got my star, Ray set up a "Bat Signal"-style spotlight that would project a star in the sky when the commentariat needed me. Just saying...
@Schweppes: "The star-belly sneetches had bellies with stars, but the plain-belly sneetches had none upon thars."
[/Theo. Geisel]
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand,
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land!
I needed that.
@charles_barrett: Always trust your car to the man who wears a star.
@danio3834: I'm so last week.
@graverobber: I ain't letting my car anywhere near Polar.
I like my car.
@graverobber: Well, maybe journalistically, but in no way mechanically...! I have ten thumbs, five per hand! I can only aspire to do that Star the honor it deserves with my bon mots.
I've got a star, but it's kind of a rusty brown color.
BTW, Minneapolis is boring.