PCH, Hell Uber Alles Edition: Mercedes 6.9 or BMW L7?

On Monday, we headed over to Frozen Finnish Car Hell and watched the '61 Ford Taunus wagon beat the '72 Opel Kadett in the Choose Your Eternity poll. Today we're in the mood for Very Expensive German Luxury, which is always an excellent Project Car Hell theme. You see, high-end German cars have always been chock-full of leading-edge technology, which means that the passage a decade or three can really knock down the purchase price of a nice example... well, that is, if you don't mind a car that needs some TLC!


It's time for another Jalopnik Fantasy Garage resident to make an appearance on the Hell That Is Project! Now, many of you may have felt that a genuine 6.9 Mercedes-Benz would never appear in this series, since it's so difficult to find one cheap enough to make the cut. To that sentiment we simply hiss a stern Prussian "NEIN!" in response. That's because we've managed to find this 1979 Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9 (go here if the ad disappears) for a price we can hardly bring ourselves to utter, lest our readers think we're lying harder than Richard Nixon when he said that thing about not being a crook. Well, OK- it's $1,400. No, really! That's what you'd pay for a 15-year-old Nissan Sentra, for Gott's sake! Maybe it even runs, though we're guessing not; the car has been sitting since the early 90s (though the seller allows for the possibility: "The engine turns freely but we have not tried to start the car"). And, of course, there are a few other things to fix... but that price for a JFG car? Thanks to The Kid for the tip!

What could possibly stack up to the big Benz on the Cool/Hell scale? Well, it would have to be something German, fast, and complicated, with a similarly absurd price tag; we considered a Porsche 928, for that Double-Barreled JFG Hell Edition thing, but the 928 just doesn't have the sheer Teutonic bulk to measure up in the luxury department. But hold on- how about the BMW L7? It's big, it's fast, the interior boasts more leather than a Texas feedlot, and it's brimming with bewildering German technology that will keep you busy in the garage for years. But hold up there, you say. Sure, you can find a 6.9 Benz for cheap once in a while, but it's impossible to also find the same kind of deal on a BMW L7. Ach! This is Jalopnik, where there is no escape from Hell Project temptation- check out this 1986 BMW L7 (go here if the ad disappears). The price? One thin grand... or best offer! You must be living right, is all we can say, but read on before you sprain all your fingers dialing this car's seller. It's unclear whether it can actually be driven for real at the moment, since the tense of the statement "We drove it everyday" seems to infer something ominous, although the seller does state that it "cranks and drives." Perhaps the only thing really wrong with this L7 is "just that the muffler fell off but it can be welded back on." We can't tell you that, nor can we judge the body and interior condition from the blurry photos, but it's an L7 for a thousand bucks!

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