It is dead already.

Ah, so the monstrosity has gone from Death Row to Maximum Security. Where is Kevorkian when you need him?

HUMMER vehicles have the highest profit margin of any vehicle GM sells, like Jeep this distinctive and iconic brand isn't going anywhere. Expect the H2 to get some sort of replacement unless they flesh out the H3 and H4 lines with numerous variants to keep dealers happy.

The Earth-First eco-terrorists will burn them all long before them. It'll be easy as they'll be left on the side of the road with their gas-gauge needles straining well past E, as the price of gas goes above $6.00/ gallon.

They might make better FEMA housing than those toxic trailers tho...

we have a feature here called "Hoon of the Day."

They have that on CNN too.
[edition1.cnn.com]

People actually buy these things of their own free will? I thought that they were sentenced to drive them by a nasty judge upon their third conviction in selfish asshole court.

Ok, a few more details here. That's good. But I stick to my story (albeit changed slightly). The current H2 gets a major facelift and soldiers on to 2014. There's plenty of time for the designers and engineers to fill in the gaps with one (or two) models to be launched once the H2 is history.

Believe me: there will be a full-sized or very large midsized truck/suv in this slot post-H2. The replacement (and possibly the refresh) will probably come with available light hybrid.

If this is not the case, then GM should shutter the dealerships and sell the remaining models at GMC dealerships or somesuch.

/rant

2014?
It'll be the perfect vehicle for the post-apocalyptic mad max crowd.

The H1 was a great 4x4, although maybe not for narrow trails. Lots of innovative stuff on there like the geared hubs and the cabin-controlled tire pressure. But the H2 and the H3 are like a couple of kids dressing up in their parents' clothes.

Come on GM. Make with the diesel-electric hybrid already.

So that means Brittney will be able to buy one when she's released from the mental clinic in 2012. There is hope for all.

Go forth, Bloated SUV, from this world
in the name of GM the almighty, who created you,
in the name of rising gas prices,
and the average folks who suffered because of you at the pumps
in the name of the depleting fuel sources, who is running out thanks to you,
May you live in pieces this day,
may your home be with OPEC,
with the H1, the Mother of all things Hummer,
with Wagoner and Lutz and all other GM products laid to rest.

Amen.

Huzzah! Huzzah!
this means ...
1. a bigger badder prob hybrid/diesel compensation station wagon is on the way...
2. BMW, Porsche, and Corvette sales will skyrocket. (The global warming thing helps too. I needed my AWD for like, a nanosecond this season, in NYC.)
3. If they were smart, they would do that bad-ass HALO car by making a bunch of specialized "limited runs". One for rallying through the snow, one for the mud, modify for desert duty, A real stripper special made to be modified, a Cap for the back so a 3rd passenger, and his buddy, who may well be a .50 cal machine gun, could fit. Push the wheels to the corners, I am pretty sure a 33 inch off road tire meets pedestrian saftey laws.
$:20 rant has ceased to be.

Nobody forces people to buy these things and pay the gas prices. If someone makes a decision to buy a car that gets 12mpg, then so be it.

Its funny how nobody on this board rails against the crappy mileage you get from a Ferrari or a Maserati and the like, meanwhile they will often get less. And they carry far less in terms of people and cargo. And the ubnabashed praise for 60's and 70's era smogmachines is really ironic too.

A family of five in a Hummer with a bunch of shopping in the back thats doing 12mpg is far better than a single dude and maybe one other person in a Ferrari doing 12mpg.

@4_Chan!!!!!11!one:

I think the difference is that a Ferrari or Porsche is pleasant to drive or ride in and is actually worth its price tag. A 60s era muscle car, although overvalued and handles like crap, at least still has style.

Hummers are ugly, overpriced, poorly made, bloated station wagons on stilts that hold little to no interest for people that actually like and care about cars.

It was the rise of SUVs that killed off all our beloved RWD V8 sedans in the first place. GM needed the Arlington plant for trucks, so the Fleetwood, Caprice, and the real Impala were all casualties.

@4_Chan!!!!!11!one: We love Ferraris and Maseratis becuase they are fast. We love 60s and 70s cars because they are cool. The H2 is neither of those things. It is also not a wonderful off road machine, or a sensible people hauler.

@4_Chan!!!!!11!one:

No one forces someone to smoke in public. No one forces someone to molest kids. Regardless, these are socially aberrant behaviors.

A ferrari getting 12MPG is much less impactful than the Hummer because there are only 6,000 Ferraris entering the market every year and 10 time that or more Hummers.

It is likely that the Ferrari will only see a few hours road time every week, while the Hummers are being used as daily drivers. I agree that ANY vehicle, fully laden is operating at its greatest efficiency, it seems to me that I mostly see Hummers with a single occupant. And I almost never see them in the car pool lane.

Most of us complain about the Hummer, while not comparable-mileage sports cars is because we are CAR ENTHUSIASTS. We like cars that go fast, hug corners and make women swoon. The hummer is none of these things.

What the Hummer represents is a moving chicane that I can't see around on the freeway. It's the vehicle that takes up two parking spaces at the store because it's too freaking wide. It's a stupid vehicle because it is less efficient in most every way (with the exception of approach and departure angles) from its source platform.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go a smoke a cigarette and head over to the Junior High; school's almost out.

@4_Chan!!!!!11!one: Hummer drivers waste gas that should be going to a better, awesomer car.

You'll never hear me rail against what people are allowed to buy, but I will tolerate -0- bitching about consequences they didn't seem to figure out, beforehand, if complaints arise.

I'll sometimes mention how stupid something appears, like people dropping big bucks on an H2 not realizing it's only a freakin' Tahoe with different bodywork.

If you drive 25 miles to work, buy an old sub-compact beater, replace it bi-annually, and quit complaining about how much gasoline costs.

That, or move next door to the building in which you work. Simple solutions.

Confession: The 6 year old in me loves the H2 simply for it's aesthetics. What little boy doesn't want a hummer or a wrangler?

My disclaimer is that you could not pay me to drive something with such shitty visibility. Have you ever noticed how tiny all the windows are compared with the hulking size of the vehicle itself?

@bourgeoisie: And for fuck's sake, anyone driving an H2 of that awful yellow variety should be fined for disturbing the peace.

I like not letting Hummers merge on the freeway. Try that off road capability now big boy. :D

[Makes the "w" sign with my fingers. Do the kids still do that these days?]

Whatever. I'm in the minority here, in that I like the H2 and I got to test drive one on an extended ride and drive, and grew to like it even more. My favorite Hummer is that one that's completely bereft of all practicality whatsoever. That's right, give me an H2 SUT!

@ranwhenparked: Don't forget the Buick Roadmaster; the Estate version with the standard fake woodgrain was the last of the real American station wagons.

I get around 25 mpg on the highway in mine's ... not the greatest, but pretty good for an 8-passenger vehicle that can also double-duty as a light truck (5000# towing, and can haul 4x8 in the back). Unlike minivans, these B-bodies were right wheel drive too ...

@stjohn: I'm not having a go, but even the H1 was over-rated. As you say, it was too wide for a lot of trails, but also too heavy. They'll bog a lot more easily than a Land Rover or Wrangler because of that.

Additionally, geared hubs and central tire inflation were not particularly innovative. Gear reduction hubs were used on the rear of the Volkswagen Kubelwagen in the '40s and Mercedes-Benz Unimog has used portal axles since the '50s. Meanwhile, ZiL has been fitting central tire inflation systems to trucks since the '60s.

Anyway, I'm disappointed that the H2 is going to live longer than anticipated. Horrible things. The only good H2 is a dead H2.

Someday will all look back at this vehicle and laugh. Hell, most of us are already!

@narf: Yes! Whalemobiles forever!

GM has sinned, smite them Eric Clapton!!!

@Euromobile: It's all relative. For an American truck released for general consumption (albeit a niche market), it was pretty far out there. GM's sin was killing it in favor of the H2 and H3, if you don't count putting it on the civ market in the first place. And dead H2's make me happy as well. In some Zelazny-esque alternate future, there's a pack of Wranglers and Defenders hunting and killing the H2's for sport and pleasure.

@stjohn: The H1 was developed as a bad-ass replacement for jeeps in the military. It wasn't designed for 'general consumption' at all; rather modified in small numbers for civilian use after it was already established in the military.

It was never 'killed' in favor of the H2 and H3. As far as I can tell, the H1 is still a mainstay of AM General. The H2 and H3 are just less ludicrous (for civilian use) vehicles which are based on GM truck platforms to capitalize on the tough military reputation of the original Hummer.

@lascauxcaveman:

We need to draw a distinction here. The model name "H1" pertains only to vehicles built for the civilian market. The military version is called the "HMMWV". The HMMWV is still in production as AM General's mainstay, the H1 has been discontinued.

True that the H1 was never for mass consumption, it was always a niche product produced in tiny numbers for the super rich, but the H2 in contrast is certainly designed as a mass product, even if only 12,000 people a year are actually buying them.

also, let this be a notice: just because the H2 is dying off, doesn't mean the death of the brand itself. Given the H3, and many of their recent concept vehicles, I think that it will be around for quite a while. Think about it- they make loads of profit off overpriced, restyled Chevy platforms. I do see them going to a smaller kind of SUV, but once things stabilize a little more in the fueling department, I'm sure they'll be right back into the full-sized category.

Besides, what are we going to bitch about now anyways?
(I vote Navigator or LX470)

@narf: Comment on The Rumors Of The Imminent Demise Of The H2 Have Been Greatly Exaggerated, It's Actually Dying In 2014 Here Here ! I have a '94 Buick Roadmaster ( aka Road Bastard, or Road Blaster) LT 1 Dig it ! Only Corvette that can haul a sheet on plywood. I work out of it (automotive leather repair) pull a vintage trailer with it and get lots of eyeball where ever I go. GREAT RIDE ! Cheers Jethro

@ranwhenparked:
I'll just take a Uro VAMTAC instead of the Dongfeng Crazy Soldier or H2. Seriously, as most people have thought/pointed out, Hummer is to GM as Jeep is to Chrysler.

I worked on and drove the humvee when I was in the army, and thought they sucked. Preferred the M151 Ford jeep and the CUCV Blazer. Humvees are too damn big and clumsy. Drive like a front end loader with no bucket. H2's are ridiculous, never seen one that's been offroad. Yuppy hell. My boss has one and is embarrassed to be seen in it. Yeah, a Tahoe has the same chassis but anyone who is serious about offroad driving uses something with a straight front axle. I have a '66 Ford f100 shortbed that sees more serious terrain daily than most H2's see during their entire lives.

Damn. I was so happy to hear this bloated piece of assholism was dying in 2010...now I find out it will be around until 2014. Damn. Damn Damn. I hope the sales continue to plummet so GM is forced to kill the fat cow off much sooner.