You're Probably Going To Have To Look At A BMW X8 Soon

Illustration for article titled Youre Probably Going To Have To Look At A BMW X8 Soon
Photo: BMW

In a move that has strong “Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades Now,” energy, the once-beloved German performance automaker BMW is further straying from god’s light, if a recent trademark caught by X7forum.com, via Automotive News, is anything to go off of.

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BMW has marked “X8 M” for itself, obviously suggesting there are plans to move beyond the current X7 as the SUV lineup’s flagship.

But a BMW X8 seemed inevitable, if it is coming, and it’s likely going to make even less sense than any other even-numbered BMW crossover before it. If it follows the X6 and X4, it will likely be another crossover coupe design with a sloping roofline that cuts down on the X7, to be “sportier.”

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Illustration for article titled Youre Probably Going To Have To Look At A BMW X8 Soon
Photo: BMW

Because of this, I doubt it will have a very usable third-row seat, if any optional row back there at all. If that’s the case, it will be defeating the entire purpose of the bigger-sized BMW SUV, rendering itself a giant, impractical and most-assuredly hideous exercise in the last heaves of the current economic promise that there will still be a marketplace for giant performance SUVs in the near future.

The BMW X7 was literally a big deal when it debuted a few years ago because it was the automaker’s biggest SUV to date and its only three-row option. The entire point of making something bigger than the X5 was to fit a third row in the back.

I say this as someone who has come around to like the X7. I like how tall and slender it appears, with its boxy roofline. It reminds me of older Yukon and triggers some nostalgia. It’s also dangerously comfortable at high speeds.

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