Your Most Deeply Appalling Valet Horror Stories

Photo credit: Local news screencap from this nightmare incident.
Photo credit: Local news screencap from this nightmare incident.

Never let anyone else drive your car.

I asked for your worst valet horror stories, and you delivered. Man, did you deliver.


I’m overjoyed that nothing this bad has ever happened to me. I’m also distraught that these things happened to you, and that I can now capitalize on your woes for this post.

Also, this does not alleviate my paranoia whatsoever. So, thanks for that. I guess.

The First Time You Drive A Ferrari (Stephen MacArthur)

In the most cringeworthy and teeth-grinding story here, Stephen recalls the first time he got to drive a Ferrari. It didn’t go so well.

Where The Car Is Stolen Right Out From Under Your Nose (Chappy)

Chappy was a valet once. Chappy also lost a car once.


Hopefully Bad Luck Doesn’t Come In Threes...? (Evil Bilbo)

What do you do when your car gets stolen? And then again?


When It Pays To Have A Good Enthusiast Following (RallyGuy80)

Sometimes we just have to valet our finicky cars. Sometimes we’re lucky enough that someone else understands that level of finicky.


Rather Be Late Than Sorry (RMCjr)

Not only did they leave it unlocked with the keys still in it, they took it out for lunch and left a little surprise on the window.


Remember: If You See Something, Say Something (Hooneriphic)

Bored? Hang out and just watch the employees at the valet stand, like Hooneriphic did. You might see something...interesting.


Hear It From The Inside (M0L0TOV)

This is the person who handles the complaints.


The Valet We Deserve, But Not The One We Need (fortneja)

Fortneja’s job didn’t have a valet service. At the end of that particular day, though, it did.


Making Use Of That Car Phone (Teh Penguin of Doom)

The evidence came in the form of a phone bill for calls that Penguin did not make.


Wrong Car, Wrong Car! (benlama1)

Honest mistake, maybe. Does it count as stolen if it’s accidental?


Rock Bottom (lucasszy)

In perhaps what is the most nightmarish story of the bunch, lucasszy’s car was stolen and then was involved in multiple accidents.


The Valet Actually Has Morals, Kinda? (TacMedic)

It kind of makes it okay that the guy was really sorry for putting hundreds of miles on TacMedic’s car, and then paid for it? Kind of?


Sometimes Valet Duties Extend Beyond Parking (Something-Clever-Here, President)

Sometimes they involve driving a van. And cleaning up puke. All in a day’s work!


The One That Involves Breaking And Entering (stayingclassy)

There was a good reason for this!

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.



I’m not sure if I should be proud or further embarrassed that my embarrassing story was featured on the internet.