It's the time of the year where you have to buy gifts for the little shit-eater in your life. Maybe it's your ungrateful kid, or that nephew who speaks in Internet slang you don't understand. Either way, you have to buy them something, because damn near bankrupting yourself for no good reason is what the holidays are all about.
But instead of buying your little shit-eater that overpriced DVD player and Call Of Duty 27: You'd Think People Would Be Tired Of Shooting At Each Other By Now bundle they really want, why not get them something constructive? Something that will put their creative skills to use. Something that will teach them some life lessons!
You should buy them this disgusting, rotting pile of BMW Isetta parts instead. That is what you should do.
Up for grabs on eBay at just $250 as of this writing is a rotted pile of garbage that was, at one point, BMW's delightful postwar minicar. I think so, anyway. It might also have been a washer/dryer. It's really hard to tell here.
Here's what the seller has to say:
Rare chance to own a BMW Isetta at an affordable price. This vehicle was stored in a climate-controlled environment for over 20 years. It sat submerged in the DesPlaines River for that time and the local climate controlled everything.
Ran when new!
No useable parts!
Bring this to a car show and get a LOT of attention
The Perfect Gift!
BMW Isettas are fairly rare these days and can thus command pretty high premiums despite their humble origins. This one will not, because someone drove it into a river once.
But hey, your little shit-eater doesn't need to know that! Just buy it for them, and when they piss you off, send them out there to "restore" that Isetta. "That doesn't look like a transmission swap to me," you'll say as they stare at the scrap heap, perplexed. Then you'll send them to bed without dinner.
That's called parenting. It builds character. You think they teach character in the schools anymore? Hell no. Not in Obama's America.
Buy this pile of metal that may have been an Isetta once. It's the perfect gift that says, "I tolerate you, but secretly I root for you to fail."