In further evidence that Chief American Gearhead Joe Biden is becoming indistinguishable from his Trans Am-loving persona in The Onion, the Vice President took time out of a speech to the UAW to stress one thing: how awesome the 2015 Corvette Z06 is.
Speaking at a United Auto Workers conference in Washington today, Biden criticized right-leaning groups for what he described as their efforts to undermine labor unions. But he also talked about how much he loves the new Z06, a car he called "the best buy in America," and how badly he wants to drive one. The Veep even knows his performance numbers!
From Buzzfeed:
"Everyone wants to know whether or not I'm going to run for president," Biden said. "There's a lot of reasons to run for president, but there's one overwhelming reason not to run for president. I'd like to get that Z06 with 0-60 in 3.4 seconds. 3.4 seconds!"
"You tach that sucker up to six grand and this comes out of the hole like a bullet, man," Biden went on.
Emphasis mine because OH MY GOD THAT IS AN ACTUAL THING THE VICE PRESIDENT OF AMERICA JUST SAID.
Biden complained about being unable to drive — as other former White House residents have done, most recently Hillary Clinton — and said that if it weren't for the Secret Service he'd definitely be in a new Z06.
"I still have my '67 Corvette. By the way, my grown sons had it rebuilt for me, and it cost seven times the sticker price, rebuilt. But it's a quarter horse, man. That's all it is, is a quarter horse," Biden said.
"But that new Stingray, yoooo. Oh, it's more than a quarter horse, even though it goes 0-60 in 3.9 seconds — not that I like speed. It also can track on a curve. It has a 106.7 inch wheelbase. It has more weight in the back, for the first time ever. And I could hardly wait, if I were just not in this job, to take on my friend's Porsche."
"Not that I like speed" was apparently delivered in a deadpan fashion, and based on Biden's penchant for driveway burnouts in his brother's CTS-V, no one would have believed him anyway.
Come on, Secret Service. Let the man drive a Z06. For AMERICA.
Photos credit AP/Chevrolet
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