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You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse

Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse
Truck YeahThe trucks are good!

I... uh... hm. Yeah. Here’s the new 2018 Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross. Oh, God, this is it.

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The Eclipse name has indeed returned—but in the form of a crossover—which I’m fairly certain is the equivalent of reincarnating as a turnip.

Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse
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It has all-wheel-drive and a 1.5-liter direct-injection turbocharged engine. Power is delegated via a CVT gearbox. An optional 2.2-liter turbodiesel is also available with an eight-speed automatic.

And I suppose we shouldn’t even talk about how its rear end looks like a Pontiac Aztek’s.

Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse

I would like to share with you this nugget of a paragraph that Mitsubishi included in its press release for the Eclipse Cross:

Other distinguishing features are its design that motivates the driver to get out and go, connectivity that inspires new fun adventures, and all-wheel control technology which delivers an enjoyable, reassuring feel that elevates the driving experience.

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I daresay the last car that made me want to “get out and go” just from looking at it (and this is true) was the Mitsubishi Evolution X Final Edition.

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That car was goddamn fantastic to drive. And more than anything else, it was irrevocably fun. What is a “reassuring” but “fun adventure”? Those two concepts seem at odds with each other.

Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse
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The Evo X was the last great car that Mitsubishi made and it’s gone now. Without it, the Mitsubishi lineup is woefully bereft of anything that could be considered sporty or fun. Sorry, Eclipse Cross.

I’m not saying that the Eclipse Cross needs to be the next Evo. I understand that these types of cars exist in part so that the company can keep making enthusiast cars for nerds like us. But, here we have a new crossover, which will hopefully sell in droves so that Mitsubishi can focus on better things.

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The question now is, what other things?

No pricing was announced, but you can catch the Eclipse Cross at the Geneva Motor Show next month. If you want to, which you won’t.

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Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse
Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse
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Illustration for article titled You Are Not My Mitsubishi Eclipse

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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Pictured: top secret Evo XI prototype