I remember when the Aston Martin DB7 was the fresh hot shit, and now they’ve depreciated so much that one team of enterprising Aston owners have resorted to racing their once prized Jag-based supercar in the 24 Hours of Lemons event at NOLA Motorsports Park this weekend. Well, that’s not exactly true. But it does have a real-deal 100% bona fide Aston body.
The story goes that this is actually an Aston Martin shell, sourced from a storage auction several years ago with no suspension, drivetrain, or interior. The team followed through on an asinine plan, and grafted a Mustang stick axle into the back with square tube pickup points. The crazy after-thought rear fender flares are on there because the Mustang axle is wider than the Aston’s bodywork. The front end is a custom fit Mustang II front end, because that’s what all the hot rodders use. And the 5.0 engine up front came out of their old MN12-chassis Thunderbird race car, which has never finished a race.
Now, I’m sure there will be a lot of “$500 my ass!” comments on this one, but the Lemons judges are awfully lenient about that price limit when you show up with something as hella sweet as this, especially when your team has raced with this engine before a few times and never once finished.
Jerry Ringle, team captain of the Half-Asston team, had the following to say about this creation:
“It’s just stuff we had lying around the house. I hope they [Lemons judges] give us a quadrillion penalty laps, cuz you gotta be known for something. It won’t turn for fuck, I can tell you that already. It’s the prettiest no-turnin’ son-of-a-bitch you’ll ever see.
It’s important for people to understand that this is for the fun of it. You won’t be able to jackhammer the grin off my face.”
And in case you don’t believe that it’s the real deal, here are a couple BEFORE pictures.
I, for one, love the Half-Asston, and desperately want one of my own. This is perfectly emaculant. Happy Friday everybody.