Why Does Toyota Want To Blow Up The Hoover Dam?

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I guess if you're building a car that's, let's face it, boring, one way to advertise that car would be to really crank up the batshit. Like, make ads so full of confusing, improbable horseshit that just maybe you can induce some confused, trance-like state in people so they'll go buy your car. Oh, and maybe suggest destroying a dam, too, because that shit sells cars.

I was first shown this ad earlier today, thanks to this tweet:


Matthew there brings up a very valid point. W, exactly, is TF going on here? We've got the new Camry front and center, just pulled off that winding, mountain road. We have who I'm presuming is the driver (not ruling out the dog just yet, just making a bit of an assumption), who's leaning casually against the Camry while reading one of the many documents that appear to be blowing all around her. Nearby, a bulldog sits, the carcass of a dismembered and de-stuffed teddy bear at his feet.

In the background, we see two men in front of a stopped car gesticulating wildly just in front of a gap in a bridge. The gap looks to be the result of explosion damage, and the bridge bears an uncanny resemblance to the Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge.

So... what the hell's going on here? This woman in her, oh, mid-20s, who's just recently purchased (or maybe leased) a sensible, rational, appliance-car, and is fetchingly and simply attired in windbreaker, striped shirt, skinny jeans, and some red flats, has just... blown up the Hoover bypass bridge?

I'm guessing she was being pursued by the gentlemen in the black SUV, who may be trying to retrieve whatever the hell was in that briefcase? I guess the contents were pretty important, but not important enough to, you know, not litter all over the road.


Was the dog with them? Or with the woman? Or maybe the woman's with the dog, just acting as chauffeur as the dog masterminds the whole thing? Is this some kind of hyperintelligent cybernetically-augmented dog, and those poor bastards who were almost killed on that bridge were once his masters? Did the teddy bear house some surveillance or tracking device the dog has just chewed out? It's just not clear.

There's some that think this ad is yet another hint that the Hoover Dam is doomed. DOOMED. It's not me saying this, it's also this clearly very rational fellow:

So, it could be that Toyota is pushing this destroy-the-Hoover-Dam agenda as well. And not surprisingly — think how much they'd have to gain in an America free of dammed water? I know I don't have to do the math for you — this thing pretty much writes itself.


I did some digging and found the full ad. Let's see if that gives any more answers:


Um, nope. Jack shit.

What's your angle here, Toyota? Do you want me to blow up the Hoover Dam? Is that why you have that '94 Echo tell me to do it every night while I sleep? Should I blow up the dam? Will the voices go away? Or are you hoping that you can confuse me enough that I'll forget how boring this car is?


It's still a boring car. Sorry.

(I should mention here, since commenters are already getting cranky, that I'm sure the new Camry is a highly capable vehicle and a fantastic choice for many, and it's not the only car I may call 'boring' out there. A Versa sedan is boring, too. So's the new Passat. Happy?)