For The Price Of Mistress To A Millionaire You Can Buy Jalopnik's eBook

Illustration for article titled For The Price Of iMistress To A Millionaire /iYou Can Buy Jalopniks eBook

I know what you’re thinking, Bought for the Sicilian Billionaire’s Bed (Mistress To A Millionaire) was the book you really wanted to buy for your summer automotive reading. But why do that when you can buy the Jalopnik Book Of Car Facts And History Even Gearheads Don’t Know for the exact same price? Don’t be dumb.

While Mistress To A Millionaire certainly does have a little more sexual tension and, admittedly, more Sicilians, the Jalopnik Book Of Car Facts And History has a guy who invented a car that steals its own fuel and another guy who charged the government of Philadelphia money to build a dredger and instead built an amphicar (and when that broke, charged people to look at the wreckage).

Here’s the Amazon description of Mistress To A Millionaire:

To get the hordes of predatory women off his back, billionaire Salvatore Cardini impulsively asks his petite office cleaner to be his convenient mistress!

Jessica reluctantly agrees—who would say no to such an incredibly attractive and commanding man? But he is on the international rich list, with a glamorous lifestyle to match, while she has to work two jobs just to survive. What she hasn’t realized is her role isn’t just to be on his arm in public—but to be his mistress in private, too!

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Admittedly, that sounds great, and also leads me to wonder why the book is both called “Bought for the Sicilian Billionare’s Bed” and also “Mistress to a Millionaire.” Where does his money go? To the mistress. Mystery! Or maybe Mistresstery!

We just have a collection of stories you’ve maybe never heard about cars you’ve only dreamt of driving. It’s the same price, although maybe you should just buy both. It’s not that much!

Where To Buy:

Amazon Kindle

Apple iBooks

Google Play

Barnes & Noble


Contact the author at matt@jalopnik.com.

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An excerpt*:

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.

*Not really an excerpt. This was written by Dan McKay, the winner of the Bullwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in 2005. But I expect, and hope for, similar fantastically bad writing in this book.