Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Audi once represented the marque's top-tier sedan. Now it's just another barnyard denizen, headed for an uncertain future. It's price is likewise diminished, but is it still farm fresh?

Okay, I get it, you hate the Ford Bronco II, west-coaster even going so far as to claim that every sequel-named Ford has been something only a dung beetle could love. That opinion countered the condition of yesterday's 1985 Bronco II XLT Eddie Vedder edition, to the point that it was almost a foregone conclusion when its nearly fourteen grand price went down in a huge 84% Crack Pipe loss. Sorry, II, but sophomore efforts rarely pan out.

Oh how the once mighty have fallen. Did you know that for a few bucks, or maybe just a hot meal, you can get Screech from Saved by the Bell to come over to your house and give you your own personal Dirty Sanchez. It's true, I saw it on TMZ!

Another icon of accomplishment that has fallen on hard times is today's 1990 Audi V8 Quattro. Once the range-topper for the German brand's family of sedans, and based on the Typ 44 platform of the lesser 100/200, the V8 featured all the bells and whistles - even the ones only dogs can hear - that Audi could throw at it. These cars also represented the marque's first attempt at hanging a V8 over the nose of a car like an especially hefty Rose on the bow of the Titanic.

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That original V8 was a modest 3.6-litre 32-valve unit that the factory claimed was good for 247-bhp and 251 lb-ft of torque. A five-speed stick was one choice for backing up the eight, but in the case of this car, the tranny is the optional ZF 4HP24A four-speed with multi-mode. Of course the car also has Audi's famous Quattro drivetrain.

The interiors of these cars were kitted to the nines - and if you don't know what that means, ask your grandparents. They were heavily swathed in leather (the Audi, not your nana and papi) and featured more wood than a Kevin Bacon film retrospective.

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On this car, things have seen better days, especially the seats and carpet, but hey, that's why they invented Yosemite Sam floor mats and fake sheepskin seat covers. As a bonus, the steering wheel cover is d'bomb.

Externally, things are a little beater, er, better. The ad does note that the clear coat is packing it up in places, but that just gives it a tough, doesn't give an eff attitude. Rust seems to have been kept at bay too, even if the backyard dirt hasn't. Seriously folks, if you're going to try and sell a car - I don't care how cheap - tidy it up some, m'kay?

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The punctuation-lite ad does claim that the car is 'fast' and 'starts right up.' Those are both good signs and indications that if you were to buy this 171,000-mile Audi you could probably get it out of Ottumwa (Fairfield) Iowa, where it currently resides.

And what, pray-tell would it cost to do so? Well, only $1,000. You carry that much in a wad everyday, right? In case you need to choke a horse or something? What do you think about taking that wad and instead, buying this Audi V8? Would that sound like a good idea? Or, is even $1,000 today too much for this once mighty machine?

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You decide!

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