Photo: The Roving Bar (Facebook)

I can’t believe nobody thought of this before. I cannot believe someone did not look at the precious Piaggio Ape and say, “you know what would make this delightful vehicle even better? Alcohol.” But The Roving Bar most definitely saw the potential, and now I am incredibly jealous.

Okay, yes. The Roving Bar is basically a wedding-slash-fancy-party service. I doubt they fashioned this very delicate, precious vehicle that serves beer, wine, and prosecco on tap with the intention that it be carted out to, uh, the infield of a race track somewhere in the Midwest, but listen. There’s potential.

Now, it might not be your first thought to start serving bubbly at racing events when you’re, say, camping out in The Boot of Watkins Glen International for four days. That’s generally a place reserved for cheap beer and bad decisions. But I am very firmly a very basic white girl who enjoys very basic white girl things like, say, sparkly alcohol and very tiny adorable vehicles.

Now wrap all those things up in one, and you just made my race weekend. You just made everyone’s race weekend.

The Roving Bar is located in New Jersey, just a stone’s throw away from my wonderful new north Philly home, but I can’t be doing with that. I am very selfish. If I have the opportunity to pour prosecco directly into my mouth from a Piaggio Ape, the owner of that vehicle is never going to get it back. I’m sorry sir, I know I rented this for a weekend, but I have fallen head over heels in love and I really truly cannot imagine returning your wonderful vehicle because my life would be so truly colorless without it.

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I imagine the lovely folks who dreamed up this incredible invention aren’t going to just sell it to some random automotive blogger with a penchant for impressing all her friends with Sunday morning race day mimosas on tap. I bet they make so much money on weddings that it just wouldn’t be worth it. That is respectable. I admire their genius.  However, I am not what we would call mechanically inclined.  My handiness ends at basic maintenance and basic lathe machining.

So my plea to you, my sweet Jalops, is that someone fashion this incredible, adorable roaming bar for me.  I need this.  I need to take this to race car events.  I didn't even know I needed this wonderful thing, and now my life is never going to be complete without it.  Please help me live my very best life.