A couple weeks ago, I lost the keys to my beloved motorcycle. After taking the quandary to Kinja almost 300 folks chimed in having faced the same struggle. The solidarity was as great as the range of responses. If you're almost ready to give up hope looking for your keys, check these weird spots.
1. The Ignition
You dumbass. Just kiddin', it happens to a lot of us.
Every time I can't find my motorcycle keys, they're in the ignition.
Occasionally I'm thinking about something while trying to take gloves/helmet/sunglasses/etc. off, and forget to grab the key from the ignition.
Unless they're in the seat lock, next to the helmet I "locked" to the bike. Whoops.
2. Your fridge
Did you come home from a nice drive or motorcycle ride and trade your keys for a cold brewski?
See also: "Next to wherever you keep the bottle opener."
3. Kitchen drawers and countertops
Maybe you were so hungry you tossed you keys and swept them into a drawer. Or you're so sure you couldn't have left 'em with the chopped veggies you haven't bothered to check the cutting board yet... check now.
4. Near the toilet. Maybe in that stack of magazines?
Think about it; you sit down to take a poop, reach for your phone to get some Twitter scrolling on, and inadvertently drop your keys at your feet. Or maybe you're old school and still have a battered Sport Compact Car you flip through ceremonially during every dump. Maybe you keys got wedged between ads for Rota wheels.
5. Consoles of other cars
You're busy, right? Got lots of places to go, things to drive! Check consoles seat pockets of other cars.
6. X-Ray your dog
Or just wait for him to poop.
The X-ray the dog thing cracked me up because I actually know someone that had that happen. Their dog actually ate the key.
7. Dog food bag, wood pile, pretty much any place you might reach into without looking
Hey, maybe your dog hasn't eaten those keys yet... but he will soon.
8. Shoes and boots
Often kept under the key rack... it's easy to imagine them falling down and falling in.
9. In the trash
Make like a raccoon and rummage.
True story I actually threw my keys out once. Had the key ring around my finger and a some trash from the car in the same hand. Threw it all out in one shot. After a few hours I remembered I had the trash in that hand, rummaged around and found them.
10. Book shelf
A book is a great way to, I don't know, relax after a drive? I haven't seen one in years but a few commenters recommended looking near them.
11. Pockets of everything
Sure, your pants pocket was the first place you looked. What about the jacket you had on? Or inside the jacket's liner? You know that coat's got a hole in the inside pocket... those keys might have ended up in some no-man's-land between swaths of fabric.
12. Washing machine & dryer
Don't just peer in; check the filters. It'd be especially easy for a key to get pulled in if you don't keep them on a big chain.
13. Your butt
Have you checked between your buttocks? That's nature's pocket.
Image: Andrew P. Collins