What's The Ideal Honeymoon Car?

Illustration for article titled What's The Ideal Honeymoon Car?

The greatest joy of a honeymoon probably shouldn't be the car you drive, but why not at least make it the secondary? What's the ideal honeymoon car?


It's been estimated, by us, one-in-every-three Mustang convertibles is rented for a honeymoon. In fact, there may be no other car you're allowed to rent in Hawaii when you're on your honeymoon. Everyone does it, which is one reason we're not keen on the idea. A convertible isn't actually ideal, as you're always going to nice dinners and who wants to deal with a bride complaining about her hair? You want something sporty and luxurious, but you don't want to draw so much attention to yourself you get your stuff boosted. Unless you've just married Sabine Schmidt, it's probably safe to assume something too sporty (or a Transit Connect) may distract both of you from the real fun of a honeymoon.

This is why we like the Maserati Gran Turismo S. The 4.7-liter V8 pumps out a righteous 440 HP but in a package not as auspicious as a Ferrari and able to carry a reasonable amount of luggage. Equipped with a NAV system and comfy/cozy leather everything, it's also a great place to spend a few hours. The back seat is large enough to store a camera or a few bottles of wine but not so large as to encourage anyone to come along for the trip. You'll impress valets with your understated style but not have to worry about them doing a full Ferris Bueller with it. It's the ideal balance of style, sportiness, sexiness and stealth.

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I'm probably going to get blasted for this but I think a mid-2000's Ford Harley Davidson F-150 SuperCrew would be an ideal honeymoon car. Well, truck actually.

Aside from the lack of a bench seat for fooling around, one properly equipped with a hard shell tonneau cover and maybe even a Bedrug bedliner turns the classy beast in a capable, roomy and quite well equipped ride that looks good at everything from a tractor pull to the front door of any restaurant.

Why though? Well, for starters, it has more room in it than even the largest full-sized vehicle. It can handle every single bit of luggage one would need for an extended honeymoon. It has an extra set of full sized seats in case you happen to hook up with that "other couple" people always seem to meet on the honeymoon. It can tow a trailer of modest size so if you wanted that offbeat honeymoon, you can take a camper with you. Or just tow some ATV's or snowmobiles for some high octane fun while at the bungalow in the mountains.

OK, that's teh practical but, it's a truck! WTF? What about a restaurant and "little black dresses"? Easy! The HD F-150 came with two tone paint if so optioned. Black and silver. Looks like the truck is perpetually dressed in it's own tux. The interior is soft and classy but very durable saddle bag leather. Black too with captains chairs all around and a center console the length of the passenger compartment. It rolls on "blingin' 20's" too. Since it is a lowered F-150, the ride height is close to that of a stretch limo or even one of those Excursion based limos. Makes egress a breeze for the lady without the risk of exposing the "lady parts" to a caressing breeze or the gaze of a wandering eye...I mean horny valet. Plus, just the sheer size of the truck and the long, low (for a truck) quietly rumbling way it rolls up will attract enough attention but not so much as say...a lime green Gallardo.

OK, OK, but, it's a truck, how can it be fun? Well yeah. It's a porker at over 5,000 pounds easily. But what you are driving is essentially a 4-door 2nd gen Lightning with a slightly lower state of tune. At 340 horses and over 400 pound feet off torque, it gets out of it's own way. Oh but SVT who tuned the truck didn't forget those brakes and suspension either! With brakes 12 inches or bigger, disc brake and ABS all around, it'll drag that 2.5 ton beast to a stop quicker than one might imagine. While the weight would be apparent in a turn, it does fare better than many trucks and quite a few cars when entering and exiting a turn aggressively. But while the weight and long wheelbase detract from the performance capability a bit, those two detractions make for a firm yet comfortable ride so as not to overly disturb the new bride.

Yeah, I think it's the perfect vehicle! And who needs a bench seat for "foolin' around"? You're married now and on your honeymoon, that's what thee hotel room is for!