What's the Dumbest Car You've Recently Talked Yourself Out Of?

Illustration for article titled Whats the Dumbest Car Youve Recently Talked Yourself Out Of?

There I was, minding my own business. Just surfing the web, looking for PCH candidates. I actually found a good one — the diesel Citroen. Now, I make blogger money, which means I'd have to up my online poker ROI from -3% to 3,219%. Sadly, $6,000 is just out of the question. Then suddenly, I saw it:


Yeah, but how much? Here's where it gets good.

The dude initially had it priced at $2500. Then came down to $1900. Yesterday it was sitting at $1500. And the add mentioned cash. That means I could show up with $800 and theoretically drive home in a V12 Shaguar. Hell yeah! But was the deal too good to be anything other than raw hell?


I consulted the experts. Murilee told me to buy it. Murilee is also actively looking for a Tatra. So he's nuts. Then I contacted Bumbeck who sagely offered, "Yeah, runs great when it starts. But you should get it, just so you can listen to the engine go out of tune." Hmmm.... Bumbeck knows what he's talking about. Best to ask someone with no clue. "Do whatever you want, baby. It's your money." God bless girlfriends. Alas, I was still torn.

So, I told my buddy Scott about the Jag. You remember Scott, he of Karmann Ghia Type III fame. Now here's a guy who rips the engine out of his car every other week. Surely I could trust him. His verdict? I'd be nuts. And dead from smoke inhalation. Of course, once you get the weird car bug, you don't lose it. That's right, Scott has talked me into saving up for a DS. You?


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I think I've got everyone beat in this category.

1. Trabant 601. A guy in Costa Mesa was selling one for 1200 bucks in the early 90s. I dunno just how in the holy hell he did it, but he managed to register it as a VW and get it all CA-legal. My brother and I were ready to buy the goddamn thing, but God interceded and made some unexpected expenses come up that prevented me from coming up with my half of the purchase price.

2. Yugo GVX. Holy sheepshit, what was I thinking? I almost rear-ended a bus during the test drive thanks to the horrendous brakes, but I went back to the owner and offered him a grand for it. He said sure thing, but the catch was that I had to take the rusty, decrepit parts car along with it (There was some side story about that car — it once belonged to the VP of Yugo Motors or some shit like that). Being that I lived in an apartment and had no place to put that piece of shit (the parts car, not the runner), I had no recourse other than to thank him for his time and curse the heavens for derailing my brilliant plan to buy a fucking Yugo.