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What Was Your Gnarliest Childhood Wheeled Injury?

Illustration for article titled What Was Your Gnarliest Childhood Wheeled Injury?

As kids, we basically try and get ourselves hurt on any wheeled device we can get our hands on. Tricycles, skateboards, BMW bikes – it’s going down.


Takuro_Spirit witnessed a particularly nasty spill and shared us with the story when we saw a kid get his bike shoved up his anus. Phew.

My friends and I were out riding our bikes on the streets behind our houses, goofing off and generally being kids. Looking for empty soda cans to run over so we could get them stuck on our tires for that motorcycle sound.

Also we were jumping curbs at driveway entrances, and popping wheelies. My friend popped one too many.

As he came down his feet slipped from the pedals, usually no dig deal BUT.... his body was too far aft of the seat. He came down, HARD, and at a pretty fast SPEED, on the rear tire. His testicles acted as the worse brake ever, grinding and rubbing as the bike slew left and right, his arms unable to fully grasp the handle bars, meanwhile his feet frantically searched for purchase on the concrete road.

The sound, oh, the sound. Not from his vocal chords, oh no, that pain would come later. But from his jeans being thrashed by his knobby rear tire.

Thankfully it ended quite quickly but it still seems like forever, as I remember it vividly. He was hurt, but not bloodied. His pants never gave way to the treads of the tire. His balls were intact, if a little sore.

He walked his bike home, and us him, as he was unable to ride. Tears in his eyes, we didn't speak much about what happened, but I think we all swore to ourselves to never let it happen to us. Or our nuts.


Oof. Still, we’re sure one of you has seen (or suffered) something funnier/worse. Think you can top getting your nuts conveyor-belt beaten by a knobby tire?

Photo Credit: Jérôme Gauthier

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Congratulations, Mr. Takuro_Spirit, on today's COTD!  I have a bicycle for you, but I don't know the brand as I don't keep abreast of those things.  This lovely lady will bring it to you as soon as she quits falling over the handlebars.  Have a nice ride!