Automotive stock photography is exceptionally strange, especially the older and more European it gets. In this ongoing Jalopnik expose, we attempt to decipher exactly what the hell is going on.

"By combining our sales floor and repair center into one room, we pass the savings onto YOU!"

"It took years to find the cone that killed my father. Now it's going to pay."

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"And that's where we'll buy even more matching sweaters."

"Think if we ask nicely, the dealership will give us the rest of the car?"

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"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

It's more fun if you imagine them running away from zombies.

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"DAMMIT GINA GET OFF THE PORSCHES"

"Bill, I told you if you brought home another Citroën Ami I'd rip your eyeballs out of your skull. Shit's about to get real."