Composite by the author
Composite by the author

We’ve known Cadillac has been looking to move away from its letter/number car naming scheme for some time. Today, I saw on Car And Driver that the American luxury brand has landed on “Celestiq” and “Lyriq” so far.

Both of these whimsically named vehicles will reportedly be electric, with the Celestiq as an expensive flagship and Lyriq as more of a high-riding hatchback thing. Maybe something like the Jaguar I-Pace in terms of shape.

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I want to talk about these weird words so badly but I have to confess: I’m struggling to form an opinion. My gut says I hate both these names, especially Celestiq, but a large part of me feels compelled to reserve judgment. Maybe I’m losing my edge.

Let’s sit with it.

Celestiq.

Hmm.

Like Celest-ek? I guess? Celestial but also ’q?

One might infer that Cadillac’s new plan is to name everything in its next wave of offerings with words that end in “q.” Seems decidedly unamerican, but then again, the brass at GM are probably keen to put as much distance as possible between the future of the Cadillac brand and any lingering “Eldorado” associations.

Cadillac’s been struggling with names since way back, hasn’t it? Remember Elmira J? Et cetera? Only Escalade, in recent memory, has really rocked. Escalade is an objectively exceptional name for a luxury SUV. And, funny coincidence, that’s the only nameplate that’s really brought money into Caddy’s house lately.

Jerry Seinfeld actually had a bit about this phenomenon of making up car names. But that was so long ago that he was making fun of “Integra” and “Supra.”

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“Like, integrity? No, integ...ra,” he joked. (It was in a standup clip at the beginning of a Seinfeld episode.)

Anyway, the whole reason I wrote this was to read the comments. So, please, can someone tell me what the hell is a Celestiq?

Reviews Editor, Jalopnik | 1975 International Scout, 1984 Nissan 300ZX, 1991 Suzuki GSXR, 1998 Mitsubishi Montero, 2005 Acura TL

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