What It's Like To Destroy A Fire-Breathing Mitsubishi Evolution

Fact: Mitsubishi Evolution owners don’t like to leave their cars stock. Maggie Stiefvater, who owned a perfectly good Evo 10, is no exception. She SPRAY PAINTED her car (in a very picturesque setting, I might add) for reasons I cannot explain. What I can explain is the desire to modify your car when challenged for a race, which is exactly how Maggie’s Worst Car Story begins.

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As Maggie describes it, this “300 horsepower turbocharged all-wheel drive wet dream of every Lancer driver out there” was simply not good enough to beat nemesis John Green in the dirt oval race in Princeton, Minnesota. So she contacted her favorite tuner, and let him have his way with her Evo 10.

After many trials and tribulations modifying the Evo, the car was delivered to Maggie just one day before embarking on her 17-hour drive to Minnesota, but unsurprisingly with modified cars, shit happens. I’ll let Maggie explain it from here.

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By the way, Maggie told this entire story in one take. She’s awesome, and you should follow her.

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DISCUSSION

My idiot friend Mario who doesn’t know the first thing about cars is a passenger in another friend’s VW Golf. It being a VW Golf it eventually overheats and they pull over to the side of the road. Mario pours a gallon of water on the screaming hot block cracking it instantly.

Flash forward 2 months, Mario is another friend’s Golf which to no surprise overheats and they pull over to the side of the road. Mario climbs down the embankment to a pool of water and scoops up a bucket of water. You can see where this is going. He then scales the embankment and dumps it on the screaming hot block cracking it instantly.

Final score: Mario 2 - VW Golf 0.