I’m in the process of making my first vehicle purchasing experience for a vehicle that is Just For Fun, not because I desperately need it. And I have been in a heated debate with my husband about what we need to name it.
It’s a Suburban. A big, beefy Suburban that is a pale blue in color. Just beautiful. An exceptional piece of machinery that’s still in great working order. I’m reneging on every single thing I’ve ever said about the pointlessness of a big ol’ truck because I’ve fallen in love, and yes, if you must give me shit, I will take that shit in the comments. Because I’m buying a lovely, used, 100,000-mile Suburban.
My husband and I agreed that it should be a name that starts with a B. We also agree that it should be a hearty, traditionally female name—something befitting of a lunch lady that kind of scared the shit out of you or the gym teacher that could knock you into next week with one mere toss of a dodgeball.
He suggested Bertha. I think that is simply too blasé. It’s, like, the first B-name you think of when you think “lunch lady.” So many things have been nicknamed Big Bertha before. I want something unique.
I’ve pitched Brunhilde, largely because it has a nice Germanic feel to it and I also really love valkyrie myths. Brunhilde is a capable name. It’s a name that can both build a comfortable cabin and also bake you the most delicious loaf of bread you’ve ever had. A name you can trust. But my husband said I can’t name our truck after a character from Django Unchained.
So, we’re at an impasse. I’m the one buying it and going to pick it up, so I might just stake my name claim and let him deal with it. That also feels mean. Lord help us if we ever decide to have children.
All that to say: have you folks named your cars? And if you did, what did you name them? Why’d you name it that? I want your stories. I want to know.