We’re all about to get $1,200 in economic stimulus. Well, some of us. And let’s be realistic, most of us will be saving it for emergencies, such as paying down the massive cost of getting treated for COVID-19, or paying rent as unemployment skyrockets. But hey, if you wanted to be depressed, you wouldn’t be reading my blogs on a Saturday, you’d be watching CNN or something. So let’s have some fun. With your $1,200 paycheck, what car are you buying in the imaginary parallel universe where the world isn’t burning to the ground?
I’m going with this beaut right here, a 1995 Chevy Lumina APV, more commonly known as a “dustbuster van,” because look at it. Listed currently for $1,300 on the veritable goldmine of sub-$2,000 cars that is Facebook Marketplace, I think talking the seller down $100 is decently likely.
I have wanted one of these vans for ages because they are weird, and ugly, and everyone remembers either being in one or having family that had one, and seeing this absolutely dropped on the pavement with some tiny old-school Japanese wheels would probably look cool as hell. I am a firm believer that I need to try it personally, just to find out how cool it does look, and this seems like the perfect base to start with.
Also, red velour is so painfully out of style it boomerangs all the way back to being cool again, which is a bonus for this specific van. It doesn’t need to be this specific van, because Dustbusters are all roughly worth One Pandemic Stimulus Check at this point. Even on Bring a Trailer, an extremely clean example with no reserve couldn’t hit $3,000.
So, what are you picking out from your local marketplace to roll the now-desolate streets with?