What Car Take Would Get You Canceled?

Illustration for article titled What Car Take Would Get You Canceled?
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As you may imagine, I have spent quite a lot of time eating my own words lately thanks to the giant, gas-guzzling Suburban I bought after dropping the hot “trucks should be illegal for purchase” take into the annals of Jalopnik. Lots of folks have reminded me of that specific blog, both as evidence that I should be canceled and that my change of heart should be celebrated. But it’s got me thinking: what car take would get you canceled?

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Jalopnik is the people’s site. We wouldn’t exist without you, the commenters, holding us accountable for our sins, which is both a great thing and also miserable when you’ve written a thing you’d rather forget (the Hot Truck Take is not one of those blogs, by the way; my opinion has merely evolved from ones I shared when I was 19). But I think it’s time to turn the tables. Y’all know a painful amount about me. Time to expose yourselves in the safe-for-work kind of way.

What’s your hottest car take? What’s the thing that you suspect people would absolutely give you tons of shit for? That people would argue with? That people would literally come to blows over? What’s something you feel about cars that would have the angry mob after you like you’re Frankenstein’s monster in one of those terrible movies that absolutely misses Mary Shelley’s point?

You all know my feelings about trucks. But I’ll go ahead and share another hot take with you: we all need to stop taking Formula One racing so seriously. Less cars and more racing, yes, but I know this belief is sacrilege among so many avid F1 fans. Like, my dudes, it is essentially cars driven by rich guys running around in circles that costs billions of dollars to run. And everyone takes it so seriously. People would fight to the death defending Lewis Hamilton (or, alternatively, tearing him apart), and people absolutely lose their marbles any time a new regulation is announced. Why? It’s silly. It’s sport. It’s entertainment. Take a chill pill.

(I also recognize this very argument could be turned back against me, hence why it is a cancelable take. I will never stop being mad about F1 racing in questionable countries. I will stay mad. I will die on this hill, mad. And I will only get madder when someone points it out because you are absolutely correct and I hate it.)

Now, share with the class. What’s your cancelable take?

Weekends at Jalopnik. Managing editor at A Girl's Guide to Cars. Lead IndyCar writer and assistant editor at Frontstretch. Novelist. Motorsport fanatic.

DISCUSSION

curbwatching
curbwatching

Gas taxes should be higher. Like, much higher.

We only pay a portion of the true cost of fossil fuels at the pump. If we saw the true cost, meaning the damage to the environment, the health costs of all that pollution, the global warming effects of everything from extraction of fossil fuels to burning them to the concrete that covers the earth, and the ecological damage that we have to spend billions to fix, we’d think twice about hopping in a car for an errand three blocks away, or taking a car to work instead of public transportation.

The only way we’re going to see the true cost of fossil fuels is if we pay for it directly. That means taxes at European levels, probably much higher than that.

I love driving, I love cars, and I love internal combustion. But I also love living on Earth just as it is right now. And I’d rather use my car for the fun times and the really necessary times, not just because I can’t be bothered to think of any alternative.