What April Fools Day Automotive Headline Do You Want To Read?

Illustration for article titled What April Fools Day Automotive Headline Do You Want To Read?

Instead of wowing you with our story about the return of the Pontiac Aztec for 2015 or reporting this time the El Camino is actually returning to the US for real (we would never actually joke about such a thing) this April Fools Day we want to hear your idea of the perfect fake automotive story.

It could be your own attempt at obviously fake "legitimate" car news, the comedic story you wish would actually come true or the real headline that you believe might as well be an April Fool's Day joke. We want to read it, what April Fool's Day Automotive headline do you want to read?

We're going the direction of "fake news we actually want to hear" with ours, although it may be more of a bizarre automotive fantasy than a humorous prank.

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"GM Announces Return Of Pontiac Division To Produce Brand New "Smokey and the Bandit" edition 1977 Pontiac Trans Ams"

There, we said it, we want a showroom fresh 1977 Black and Gold T/A of our own. Since we can't actually have one, we would love to foolishly believe it's possible for two seconds while reading this headline.

What April Fool's Day automotive headline do you want to read?

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M.L. Lapid

The Morning Shift, 4-1-12

1st Gear: GM realized the soaring demand of a 4-door Corvette and the mourning of the Pointiac G8 series. GM had a surprise announcement that Chevrolet will be releasing the Chevelle in sedan and wagon form this fall!! Based on the Zeta Platform which was also based on the G8 (and the longer Caprice PPV), the lastest Zeta will sport a better interior compared to all of its Zeta sisters. GM said it will have four flavors: LS (LY7 V6, 265hp), LT (LFX V6, 330hp), LE (LS3 V8, 425hp), and SS (LSA V8, 520hp) all models will have a manual transmission (an option on the LS & LT models). Price will likely start from $24K on the base LS model according to GM and will top-out at $45K for the SS model. GM has said that 15,000 units will be available for the first year, the Sport Wagon will follow next spring.

2nd Gear: In relation to the article above, GM has also announced the return of the El Camino sport pickup. Based on the Zeta Platform same as the Chevelle, the El Camino will also sport the same Trim levels as the Chevelle with an addition to the WT model. The Work Truck is a bare-bones model (ie. an LS w/o power anemites such as power windows, etc.) catered to the working men. Same as the Chevelle Sport Wagon, the El Camino will be released next spring.

3rd Gear: Ford overheard GM's announcement regarding of bringing Aussies Commodore as the Chevelle to the States. Ford made another surprise that it will release its Austrailian cojones, the FG Falcon! While it wont be released at the same time as the Chevelle, the Falcon will arrive next summer in four flavors: SE (Barra 185 V6, 265hp), SES (Duratec 37 V6, 320hp), Sport (Ecoboost V6, 370hp), and GT (Coyote V8, 420hp). Ford has also announced that an SVT model will arrive afterwards. Prices will likely be similar to the Chevelle since Ford hasn't said anything about it.

4th Gear: Along with the Falcon, Ford is bring two trucks back in the US! The first one is the return of the Ranger pickup for the year 2013. The T6 Ranger originally exclusive Worldwide will mark the return of the Ranger nameplate after a year of absence. While no specifics at the moment, Ford said it will offer three engines: the Duratec 25 4-cylinder, an Ecoboost 2.0 4-cylinder, and the Duratorq 3.2 Diesel.

5th Gear: The second Ford truck is a sport truck. If GM brought back the El Camino, why not the Ranchero also!? At the same time when Ford Falcon arrives, the Ranchero will arrive next summer as well. The Ranchero sport the XL, XLT, Sport, and GT models. Although it will only release at a scant of 2,000 units for the 1st year.

6th Gear: Honda CEO Takanobu Ito was fired as the head honcho of Honda Automobiles. This impending result was a massive dissapointment of its current line-up and numerous of 'hate mail' from fans all over the world (as a result of a server crash at TOV website). Honda said that they 'had realized its past mistakes of offering cars that nobody would want and not listening to what our future customers desire'. In result, Honda will phase out the Crosstour & ZDX then will release its lamented JDM Odyssey as the Acura Inspire and the Honda Stream. Honda also said they're developing the next Prelude, Integra, and the S2000.

Reverse:

- Dodge has announced the return of its Magnum super wagon.

- Subieyota is developing a hatchback variant of its RRZ/86/GT86/FR-S.

- Mazda Rotary Division is back online.

- Honda has fired the whole Acura's Design Team.

- Datsun is developing a RWD coupe based on a Sentra?

- Acura will return former names in 2014.

Today in Automotive History:

On this day in 1993, race car driver and owner Alan Kulwicki, who won the 1992 National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) Winston Cup championship by one of the tightest margins in series history, is killed in a plane crash near Bristol, Tennessee, where he was scheduled to compete in a race the following day. The 38-year-old Kulwicki had been the first owner-driver to collect the championship since Richard Petty did so in 1979, as well as the first NASCAR champ to hold a college degree. [www.history.com]