Orrin Visotto, possibly the angriest man in the gentle nation of Canada, is tired of dealing with his crappy Freightliner truck, so he filmed this rant about how big a piece of garbage his big rig is. And he uses lots of expletives.
We are all Orrin Visotto.
Visotto drives a Freightliner equipped with a Detroit DD15 engine, a good engine designed by some engineer at Freightliner who just wants to ruin his life:
Visotto begins by introducing his engine, saying: “That’s a Detroit DD15, ohhhh yeah!”
Then, as he says “most expensive engine development in history,” he stutters on the word “engine,” giving away the fact that he’s fighting hard to hold back some deep, dark demons.
A few seconds later, he lets those demons out:
But they had one major flaw to it. And YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? They let Freightline get their dirty little dickbeaters on the fucking thing!
You see these here? Yeah? Those plastic little pieces of shit! That’s what they call fucking hose clamps. Everywhere. And they fucking break, and fall off, and you lose all of your coolant! And then you have downtime!
Ooh look at those ones way back there that I had to replace, right by the exhaust where you burn yourself. FUCKING AWESOME ISN’T IT!
Oh yeah, you gotta take the exhaust apart and every fucking thing else to get to em, and jack the fucking cab up!
Oh yeah, real fucking smart Freightliner! Thanks for that!
You know what one of them’s worth? Yeah, all rigged up, it’s about 200,000 fucking dollars! And you get what? Plastic fucking shit!
It’s safe to say that anyone who works on their own vehicle has found some terrible design choice that just makes them boil over with rage.
In my case, I get really cranky when I have to undo those damn (I’m cursing just thinking about them) external torx bolts holding the top of the engine to the transmission on my Jeep Cherokees. I have to fast for six months before I can even get my hand in there to reach the damned things!
For many, wrenching is a form of stress relief. But sometimes, it can drive us bonkers.