As part of a gimmick for an upcoming reality show, Rob "Vanilla Ice" Van Winkle jumped a '67 Cadillac through a wall of fire and into a lake. Sounds cool, right? It wasn't.
Step Two: Someone decides that it would be the most excellent best possible thing ever since sampled "Under Pressure" to have Vanilla Ice perform stunts on this show. Even if they are unrelated to, you know, houses. Or Vanilla Ice himself. (Maybe he's been watching too much Nitro Circus?)
Step Three: Vanilla Ice plans a stunt wherein he jumps a '67 Cadillac coupe through a fiery hoop and into a lake. The car will presumably be set on fire.
Step Four: The world waits, breathless, in anticipation.
Step Five: After a bit of rescheduling and a few logistical issues, the stunt finally goes down. The "fire" is a single gun spitting out a measly foot-long flame. The Cadillac — the poor, poor Cadillac — is spray-painted with things like "Vanilla Ice" and "Ricky Bobby." There is a bunch of confetti. And then the Caddy sinks.
Oh, right: Nothing caught fire. And the lake was kind of a... fish pond.
This is just sad.