Utah Highway Patrol Pulls Over 5-Year-Old Driving On Freeway

Illustration for article titled Utah Highway Patrol Pulls Over 5-Year-Old Driving On Freeway

This is a pretty remarkable story for a number of reasons: perhaps most obviously is that the kid in this picture seems really damn big for a five-year-old, and also because of the reason the kid was driving a car in the first place, which was to buy a Lamborghini. I’m glad no one was hurt, but, beyond that, I’ve got a lot of complicated and conflicting feelings here.

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Here’s the tweet from the Utah Highway Patrol that introduced us to this half-decade-old driver:

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So, lots to process here. First, the Utah Highway Patrol should maybe consider a face-obscuring system that looks a big less like a horrific, yawning chasm on your head, because that’s just kind of disturbing.

Next, as someone who owned and operated a height/weight 50th-percentile-ish five-year-old kid for about a year, I have to say that is one large five-year-old. I don’t think my kid would have been able to touch the pedals or see over the dash, but this fella sure could, and managed to drive for a pretty good distance.

I mean, he’s clearly a kid, I’m just not sure I’ve ever seen a kindergartner quite that tall. Or skilled at driving.

Then, the story gets richer with this follow-up tweet:

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Gotta appreciate this kid’s gearhead ambitions, right? Wanted a Lambo, so figured out how to drive his mom’s car to go find one, somewhere? And, he’s a kid, don’t laugh at the $3 he was planning to spend. In kid money-scales, that feels like Lambo-money, I’d say.

Lots of interesting questions here. I want to know how the kid figured out how to drive as well as he did, most of all, and I wouldn’t mind some confirmation on the age.

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Still, I do hope this kid gets his Lambo one day, ideally by investing those three dollars into some lucrative stock or something like that.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)

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