Twelve Porsches Burnt At The Stake In Most Glorious Protest Against Capitalism

Screengrab via Youtube

Capitalism, a bankrupt economic ideology which rests on the notion that the outright theft of the product of others’ labor is morally right and just, has produced a car company called Porsche, which makes cars primarily for those who benefit most from that ideology. Twelve of those cars were burned last night.

I’m not going to debate the merits (and frankly, demerits) of capitalism with anyone in the comments because really I DON’T HAVE TO, GO GET YOUR OWN DANG BLOG, but just know that yes, I drive a Yugo, and yes, twelve Porsches were sacrificed in the name of most glorious capital parity.


Well, maybe. Investigators are still looking into whether or not the suspected arson was in any way tied to the protests going on right now against the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany, according to the AP (via

Police said Thursday that unidentified perpetrators set the cars alight in the city’s Eidelstedt district shortly before 4 a.m. The blaze was extinguished before 6 a.m.

The situation in Hamburg has been largely calm ahead of the G-20 summit that starts on Friday but authorities are concerned about possible trouble at a large protest by anti-globalization activists later Thursday.


The Porsches cost a bunch of money, but who cares because they were probably insured, Porsche will just churn out more, and currency is merely the tool of the oppressor.

Deputy Editor, Jalopnik. 2002 Lexus IS300 Sportcross.

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