Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Turtle-Into-Windshield Collision Gives Stark Reminder Of The Grim Reality Of Mario Kart

Illustration for article titled Turtle-Into-Windshield Collision Gives Stark Reminder Of The Grim Reality Of Mario Kart

You know how when you’re playing Mario Kart and you just gleefully whip a turtle shell at an opponent with the careless abandon of a waterfall? Did you ever stop to think about what the reality of that would be like, especially if that shell contained a living turtle? I suspect not, because, hell, why would you subject yourself to that? Well, now you don’t have to imagine, because it really happened, in Georgia. 

Advertisement

The turtle-smashing happened on May 12 as Latonya Lark was driving down the freeway near Savannah, Georgia with her brother. The turtle, which is presumed to have been struck by another vehicle and launched into the air, was unfortunate enough to be about four or so feet aloft in the same patch of air that Lark’s windshield was occupying at the same time, resulting in this:

Advertisement

This is a real testimony for the strength of turtle shells, as windshield glass is really pretty tough stuff, and that shell punched right through it—at least halfway—with minimal damage.

As Lark noted, the turtle was uninsured, but also seemed to have fared a bit worse despite the shell remaining intact, losing a leg in the impact.

The injured turtle was taken to a wildlife reserve, according to Lark, though it seems unfortunately that the turtle died four or five days later due to blood loss.

Mario Kart makes it seem like harmless fun, but let’s be real here—having a turtle flung at you while driving at high speeds is no picnic.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Turtle-Into-Windshield Collision Gives Stark Reminder Of The Grim Reality Of Mario Kart

Incredibly, this doesn’t even seem to the be the first time this has happened in reality. So, I guess with that in mind, everyone should take some time to practice their turtle-dodging skills in Mario Kart before undertaking any major trips.

Advertisement

Oh, and if you’re in first place, be extra careful. Those things have spikes.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

scottingham
Scottingham

Clearly was a green shell.

Let too many of those loose and you end up endangering yourself just as much as others.