Travis Pastrana crashes five times in two cars in one day

Within 24 hours Travis Pastrana managed to crash his Toyota twice in his NASCAR debut in Phoenix. He then traveled to Missouri to wreck Colin McRae's X Games-winning Subaru in the 100 Acre Wood Rally by rolling it three times.

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This is a total of five crashes in two cars in two states in just a 24-hour period. No one has bad days like Travis. No one. Sadly, I already made one Travis Pastrana can't turn right joke today.

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Every summer during high school and college I worked.

Back in '05 I was trying to get enough money so that I could go with some friends to Europe in the winter. Because of this I had two part time jobs. One was at burger king as a burger/french fries guy as well as the guy who worked the drive thru. The other was at my dad's firm as a temp. Both paid minimum wage but I was as happy as a pig in shit to have both jobs because I just dreamed of getting laid in Spain.

Every single day I did the same damn mistake at my dad's job. And every day I got a smack to the back of the head from my dad when we got home. For three whole months, at least once a day I answered the phone at my dad's firm as:

"Welcome to Burger King, can I take your order?"

Thank god I was in the back, otherwise I would catch shit not only from my dad but from everyone else in the office.