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This 'Teslaquila' Should Be Just the Thing to Keep You Drunk While You Wait for That $35,000 Model 3

Illustration for article titled This Teslaquila Should Be Just the Thing to Keep You Drunk While You Wait for That $35,000 Model 3

If you’re like most Tesla fans, you’re likely always a little disappointed that you can’t somehow liquify a portion of Tesla and drink it down, so it may become one with you, inside forever. Happily, that problem seems to be solved, unlike Model 3 production issues or deliveries, thanks to what looks to be Tesla getting into the tequila business. Oh, good.


The first application that Tesla has applied for this year with the U.S. Patent and Trademark office was to trademark the name “Teslaquila.” In case you’re thinking that maybe that’s referring to a future robotic eagle project (Tesla + aquila, the Latin word for “eagle”, you see), Elon himself made it clear that, no, this is about the golden, foul-tasting booze that requires salt and a lime to make it palatable:


This in itself refers back to Elon Musk’s April Fool’s day tweet about drinking himself into a stupor after going bankrupt:

So, that appears to have been the inspiration, and I suppose Elon wanted to make that dream, at least in part, a reality.

There’s also been some speculation that a billionaire’s vanity tequila project may have been inspired by another source:


There you go. For all you hardcore Tesla fans and Elon-worshippers upset that you couldn’t just get drunk on being insufferable, now there’s a solution.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!:

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When I think of brand synergy, I think of automakers and hard liquor.