All screengrabs via Cuvée 356

Have you ever been driving along in your Porsche (real or hypothetical) and thought to yourself, “Man, this is great and everything, but why isn’t this Porsche a wine?” Well, you’re in luck because there is now such a thing as Porsche wine.

To celebrate its 70th anniversary of building sports cars, Porsche commissioned Austrian winemaker Armin Tement to make a special Porsche wine, called the Cuvée 356. Ferry Porsche was Austrian, the wine is Austrian, 356 for the Porsche 356 and so on and so forth. It’s all very poetic.

I will now include here a truly hilarious snippet of the wine’s press release, which describes which grapes were used and how it was received:

After three rounds of testing, the group decides on a blend of pinot blanc and chardonnay, plus a touch of sauvignon blanc and pinot gris. Then, Tement carefully trickles another 2 percent sauvignon into the vial and, hopeful once more, pours the new blend into everyone’s glass—and lo and behold, that tiny amount is all that’s needed to breathe even more vivacity into the wine.

Appreciative “oohs” and “aahs” reverberate off the high walls of the cellar. Sommelier Schramm places his nose deep into the glass once more, then nods approvingly. “That’s good—that’s really good! Hats off to you!” The alchemist has found the perfect blend.

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There is no one on earth more annoying than an air-cooled Porsche snob, but wine snobs come in at a close second. The Cuvée 356 will surely combine both at a dinner party that I would rather snort dried fish shit than attend.

The wine does sound tasty, though. I’m not knocking that part of it.

On its website, the wine is €19.50 per bottle, which shakes out to about $22.65. That’s not bad! It’s still about $12 more than my cheap ass is willing to spend, though.

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Getting your hands on it isn’t the easiest, though, according to Motor1:

Getting ahold of a bottle of Cuvée 356 is a bit tough. Bottles are available from the Porsche Museum, or you can order a glass with a meal at the Christophorus restaurant in Stuttgart. Folks with a German address can order it directly from Porsche, but you have to get an 18-bottle case, which costs 366 euros ($425 at current exchange rates), including shipping.

Listen, if there’s a wine-lover’s will, there’s a way.