This Poor Texas Woman Has No Idea What To Do About Her Broken Windows

A line of storms and tornados barreled through Texas last week, wreaking havoc in its path, and destroying homes. But the worst damage was not to the tree branches that fell down, or the walls turned to rubble. It was to the shattered windows of this Texas woman's car, and her shattered sense of self.

The camera moves in, unfeeling, probing her emotional state. No questions are heard, but maybe, none are necessary. The emotion on the victims face is apparent.

Very depressed, like, very mixed up. I don't really... I don't [inaudible] even know what to do with the glass. Like, I've never been in this situation, do I just sweep it off? Do I need to put it in some sort of receptacle?

I don't, I don't even know.

The tears flow forth with the power of a thousand Mosi-oa-Tunyas. Identified in the report as Gianna King, the trauma of the broken windows has clearly burrowed its way in, exposing the deepest, darkest corners of the mind.


The camera cuts away, leaving Gianna's fate unknown. Did she clean up the glass? Did she find some sort of receptacle? Or did the cruel heartless folks at FOX4 abandoned her to her fate?

And though you may laugh at Ms. King, la pauvre, her distress brings forth an honest examination of the human state. Of the Person As Car Owner. When the curses rain down from the heavens like so many pieces of softball-sized hail, rain, and an EF-1 tornado on the Enhanced Fujita Scale, you feel powerless to protect your beloved, your motor vehicle.

When it is damaged, the shards of glass that remain are nought but tiny, broken symbols of your shattered four-wheeled love.

PROTIP: If some nefarious ne'er-do-well and/or weather system breaks the glass in your car, do your best not to handle it with bare hands. I've found that a vacuum works well at cleaning up broken pieces. In addition, while you're getting your broken windows replaced at an auto-body shop, they'll probably just clean it out for you anyways.


ANOTHER PROTIP: Oh yeah, don't drive your car filled with broken glass. That usually goes without saying, but we're getting back to basics right now. So, yeah. Don't drive your car, the one with no windows, and filled with broken glass. I know safety glass isn't supposed to break into big shards and is just supposed to pebble, but you're not really supposed to sit in it, either. So you might want to just call a tow truck or something.

Yeah, you know what? Just call a tow truck. They'll probably sort it all out.

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