Illustration for article titled This Maserati Ghibli Would Ruin Me
Photo: Bring A Trailer

I want a Maserati Ghibli. No, not the new one. Not even the second one. The original. Just like this one. But there’s a problem. I worry about the man I would become if I actually got behind the wheel.

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Copper paint, white leather, a black wall of switches and dials, more than four and a half liters of rumble under the long, low Giugiaro-designed hood. Have I driven one before? I have not. But I know that the effect it would have on me if I ever managed to turn the key would be dangerous.

Illustration for article titled This Maserati Ghibli Would Ruin Me
Photo: Bring A Trailer
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The man in the ‘68 Ghibli has no patience. He can find whatever he needs beyond the next rise, just over the wooden steering wheel in his hands.

The man in the ‘68 Ghibli doesn’t suffer fools. The only people he respects are the mechanics who can adjust the Weber carburetors on the V8 that gets him where he’s going.

The man in the ‘68 Ghibli smokes cigarettes. Turkish, unfiltered, end-to-end. He never coughs though. That wouldn’t be very cool.

And the man in the ‘68 Ghibli doesn’t tip. He thinks his presence and patronage at your rinky-dink little bar is privilege enough.

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Illustration for article titled This Maserati Ghibli Would Ruin Me
Photo: Bring A Trailer

Coming away from this characterization, you probably think that the man in the ‘68 Ghibli is an asshole and you’d be right. It’s just part of the metamorphosis you undergo when you pick up some mid-century Italian muscle. It’s a scientific fact and there’s no way around it.

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Illustration for article titled This Maserati Ghibli Would Ruin Me
Photo: Bring A Trailer

But would it be worth it? Maybe. I haven’t been convinced either way. I don’t want to be any more of an asshole than I already am. I’m not sure I, my family, or my friends could take it. But this Ghibli is alluring. The copper paint, the Campagnolos at each corner, the exhaust note. It all beckons me to become a worse version of myself in order to properly enjoy it. I’ll manage to. hold back for now, but I know someday these feelings will get the best of me. When that finally happens, try to pull me down to earth. Could ya do that for me?

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Illustration for article titled This Maserati Ghibli Would Ruin Me
Photo: Bring A Trailer

This Ghibli is for sale on BringATrailer here. It received a comprehensive rebuild starting in 2016. The odometer shows around 51,000 kilometers and as of press time bids were around $100,000 with one day left to bid. Please keep me away from this listing because I can’t afford the price or the impact on my personality. Thanks.

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Illustration for article titled This Maserati Ghibli Would Ruin Me
Photo: Bring A Trailer

Max Finkel is a Weekend Contributor at Jalopnik.

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