Many of us testicle owner/operators have often claimed that we'd happily donate our (usually left) testicle for something, usually some kind of car. So it shouldn't be so shocking to hear that some loon is actually doing just that. One nut for $35,000. Which he's using to buy a Nissan 370Z.
As much as I'd like to picture the scene where this ashen-faced man stumbles into a Nissan dealership, plonks a jar with a floating, solitary testicle on the counter, and points to a red 370Z before collapsing, the reality is much more orderly.
The man, Mark Parisi, is donating his nut to a medical research organization for a sum of $35,000. Parisi has previously announced his intention to let the nut go to TLC's Extreme Cheapskates show, though it wasn't until his upcoming appearance on CBS' The Doctors that his intention to buy a 370Z was revealed.
There's all sorts of questions this brings up: is $35,000 a fair price for a functioning ball? Is a 370Z really worth a testicle?
Let's tackle the 370Z question first. It's worth noting that $35,000 won't get Parisi the best 370Z, the Nismo edition, which is $43,020. And if he wants a convertible, he better sell some blood, too, because that's $41,470. If he can drive stick he can get a base model for just under $30K, while an auto will put him at $31,290.
With taxes and whatnot, a manual base one is really the best he can hope for. Though he could go used, which wouldn't be a bad idea, since there haven't really been that many dramatic changes in the car in a few years.
Still, one of your nuts for a used Nissan? That just doesn't sound that great. Personally, I think he'd be better off with a FR-S or BRZ, which would get him a car he can have fun in with a generally similar look and character to a 370Z, and leave him with close to $10 grand of make-me-feel-better-since-I-sold-my-nut cash.
According to Snopes, a single, quality testicle should fetch between $5o,000 - $160,000, but these sorts of sales are pretty damn rare. Still, that would open a huge number of other options, like, say, a new F-Type coupe, which seems more testicle-worthy to me.
Still, did this guy lose a testicle, AND get soaked on the price? Because it's hard to think of anything worse than that.
When it comes to monotesticle living, however, I'm happy to say it's probably not so bad. My father, as a result of complications from mumps when he was a child, was a cyclops in the scrotum department, and that lone ball was good enough to provide some Y chromosomes for me and my sister. Of course, when I met my dad as an infant, he was driving the same red '68 VW Beetle Autostick he'd had from before I was born, so I don't necessarily equate single balls and fancy cars.
I guess, good luck, you soon-to-be asymmetrical Nissan-lover?