This Lying Liar Who Lies (He Lies) Lies About The Chrysler Imperial

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This guy. Really, this guy. He lies so much about the 1965 Imperial, I'm worried for his health. His pants are about to go nuclear. I think it's pathological.

Alright, I know, he's a marketer, and we're used to false advertising. It's everywhere, it's unavoidable, and we know to take most marketing campaigns with a grain of salt. But this, this is just down right obnoxious.

Let's break it down:

A car in the luxury class is generally associated with those of obvious maturity.


No. See? We didn't even make it in a sentence before it started up. Sure, obvious maturity, if we're talking about luxury cars like ones that come with only the finest Corinthian leathers, but not so much if we're talking about a Mercedes C63 AMG. And what does he mean, "obvious maturity?" Like, old people? That's just mean, Imperial guy.

But have you noticed lately, that many younger people driving the new Imperial?

No. This is 1965 goddammit, and the Mustang just came out. Sure, an Imperial (in black, preferably) is cool these days. But back then? No way, no how. But this is merely a rhetorical question, so I suppose I'll let it slide. Plus that poor girl looks like she's piloting her parents new yachting dingy, not an actual land vehicle.

It is one of the most spacious cars built in America.

Touche, though I'm sure some Cadillacs of the era gave it a run for its money.

And the most quiet.

Well that's crap. No roof and the aerodynamics of a brick? Wind noise would probably be best described as "blustery."

...And extraordinary levels of performance are very likely.

According to Wikipedia, the 1965 Chrysler Imperial weighed as much as 5,500 pounds. The definition of "likely" is being stretched thinner than worn-out silly putty.

In the span of a minute, I counted four lies and a crappy rhetorical question, or roughly a fib every 20 seconds. With the style of the era including long musical interludes instead of the more modern rapid list of features, it adds up quickly.

But then again, maybe that's why I actually like this ad. It was about conveying a feeling, even if it's a bit overt, rather than actually trying to put up an argument. In a Chrysler Imperial, you can feel like you're going on a warm vacation. And with the Beach Boys tearing up the charts in that era, I suppose you were.