All photos credit: BringATrailer.com

Every car interior these days needs to be something. Oh, it’s a spaceship. Oh, it’s a lounge. Oh, it’s a fighter plane. Oh, it’s a boat. Screw that. This is what the inside of an Alpine A310 looks like, and it’s just a car. And it’s perfect.

I am, frankly, bored by LED strips and screens and wonders and leather patterns and excitement.

All I want is a ribbed leather seat, a big steering wheel with the metal spokes with the little holes cut out in them, a plethora of easy-to-read gauges, and a straight rod of metal with a little knob on the end to shift gears with. That’s it.

If you’re feeling really fancy, you can have a vertical radio. NOTHING MORE.

But this is what car interiors should look like. And I don’t want any fancy, high-falutin’ car designer coming in here telling me that “safety regulations mean it’s not possible.” You’re giving us concept cars with seats made for fish. You can do this instead:

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And I also don’t want to hear that “people these days don’t want classic, gorgeous design. They want to look like they’re in Cincinnati’s third-crappiest night club.” Shut up. I want to sit here, right now, and look at nothing else:

I don’t care that you don’t know how to do it. It’s a car, with an interior that looks like it came out of a car. Figure it out. That’s your job. Make us, The People, this, instead of whatever Mitsubishi you were busy with:

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Don’t even know where to start? There’s an Alpine A310 for sale on Bring A Trailer right now. Go buy it. Drive it. Love it.

Then give us the good cars.