One of our dashing readers emailed us just now with a question I’m not really sure I’m seeking an answer to: “Want to know just how truly disgusting people are?” our reader asks, rhetorically, because he damn well knows the answer. He suggests that those who want to know the answer to that question simply seek out service technicians and have them describe cars that have been brought in. Then, he sent us this picture. This horrible, humanity-shaming picture. Now, out of equal parts cruelty and caring, I share it with you.
The image is of a 2010 Ford Focus. I will not be giving any specific names or locations, because I still have hope the owner can change his ways. I’m about to show the un-pixelated image now, and, really, it’s not visually so terrible, at least not until you know one crucial detail. So, here’s the picture:
Now, here’s the crucial detail: those splotches on the wheel, that look like a pigeon has been perched on top of the steering wheel? Those are boogers.
Yes, boogers. As in the ejecta of one’s nose. The owner of this car, for some baffling, unfathomable reason, has decided that the center of his steering wheel is an ideal place to wipe, store, and dry the selected crusty produce extracted from his nostrils via his vigorous campaign of finger-spelunking.
The fuck is the matter with you, dude?
Does this person never take other people in his car? Does this person not care about their car at all? Has this person no shame, no residual desire to participate in actual human civilization? Has this person no tissues?
Seriously, I’d rather know he ate his boogers, with gleeful zeal, than this. This, this is...awful. I once worked at a lab with a bunch of chimpanzees who did revolting, disgustingly biological things, and I’m pretty confident the steering wheel on their Ford Foci would not look this stomach-churning.
Our tipster lets us know that this is the second vehicle this customer has brought in like this, the first one the shop demanded be professionally cleaned first. So, whoever this is, they’re committed to slathering boogers all over their steering wheel.
Civilization is a thin veneer, my friends, and we must all work to keep it intact. Wiping boogers on your steering wheel is one way that veneer begins to chip away.
Let’s help each other. Let’s never anyone do this ever again.