This weekend, NASCAR goes to Texas Motor Speedway, where of course, some terrifying state-fair-like concoctions will be on the track menu. Here’s how they plan to kill us slowly this year: chicken wings dipped in bacon queso, then coated in bacon bits and Doritos. I’m surprised Taco Bell hasn’t asked for the recipe.
This is just the newest of several items in the track’s Hawg Heaven line of life-shortening foodstuffs, but hey, you’re only at the Duck Commander 500 once a year, right? #YOLO. Previous entries on the outrageous menu include Hawg Heaven Bacon Cotton Candy, the Shake ‘n’ Bacon Brew bacon-infused beer milkshake, and Hawg Heaven Bacon Nachos.
Here’s how the Hawg Heaven Queso Wing is made:
“As we continue to expand our Hawg Heaven brand, we felt this was a perfect way to combine two items that our fans really love,” chef Lincoln Engstrom told NASCAR. “These oversized wings will make a great meal for fans during the Duck Commander 500 weekend. No one will be disappointed after they taste these bacon-infused wings.”
I’m guessing the one item beloved by fans is bacon, as that seems to be a common theme, but if the second item he’s thinking of isn’t queso, that should be grounds for immediate deportation to Oklahoma. There is no greater joy on this earth than molten cheese that you dip stuff in and put into your mouth. None. To argue otherwise is simply un-Texan.
Unless you’re totally over bacon, Texas Motor Speedway is the place to be. The Hawg Heaven foodstuffs will be sold at the concession stand inside Gate 4 at the track, and the “no, seriously, how bad were your munchies when you thought of this?” wings will go for $12 a basket.