This Chef Rolls Like A Traffic Cop

Illustration for article titled This Chef Rolls Like A Traffic Cop

Parking in San Francisco is a musical chairs grudge match. I'm surprise there's not more bloodshed. Dennis Leary (not that one) is an SF-based chef who delivers everything from homemade bread to kale chips (natch) to restaurants around The City, and his pair of meter maid-mobiles are the perfect battle weapon.

Leary picked up the two GO-4 Interceptors for less than $4,000 a pop, painted them and started delivering his wares around SF. And it's one of the smartest business moves he's made.

Leary told the Wall Street Journal:

The city is like a driving dystopia. I've never seen it more congested, and people are aggressive. I'd never admit to doing anything illegal, but put it this way: These things can go on sidewalks.

You can park in a motorcycle spot, which is key in San Francisco, where parking is a blood sport. They have Hyundai engines — basically big lawn mower motors. I can't remember the last time I had to fill the tank.


The only issue Leary has found is with the tripod driving dynamics:

They get squirrely around corners, so I lean, like you would on a motorcycle. If you have a couple hundred pounds of vinegar and garbanzo beans in the back, you have to be careful. One of my Interceptors currently smells of potent Indonesian soy sauce, the other like cabbage and caraway seeds. Like with everything else in life, you have to be aware of the center of gravity.

And yes, he gets freaked out motorists running his way thinking they're about to get ticketed.

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I honestly haven't figured out why people want to live in San Francisco. If you're wealthy, it's not a bad place to be, especially if you live in Marin County. If you're signing 80% of your paycheck to the landlord, which a lot of people do, then you're more than likely paying stupid prices for a dump, and SF has many parts that are dumps. Who, in their right mind, would pay $4k/month for a 1 bedroom apartment?! And what does the city offer? Bums in every corner, dirty piss-smelling streets, old buildings, congestion, buses that are packed like sardines, no parking (at least not free anyway), and a city government that wants to charge you for anything and everything. The weather, though not as hot as some parts of California, is fucking miserable. You have fog, it's cold and damp in the winter, and forget swimming in the water there. You'll come out of the water with more than two balls, an extra toe, and an itch that may or may not go away.