This Car Is All The Fun You'll Ever Need

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Context is the scaffold of understanding and without any context me saying that a tiny little French hatchback with scarcely over 100 horsepower is fun sufficient enough to dine out on forever will sound insane. I’m not. Allow me to explain why you should lust after a Renault Twingo GT.

Context 1: I was in Baden once and I went to a big Roman bath. It was quite nice. I hadn’t been to other European baths so I didn’t know at the time this was one of the better ones other than Rick Steves told me so and Rick Steves, so far as I can tell, doesn’t bullshit much. I’ve enjoyed the mediocre baths, too, but if I didn’t know you well I’d say go to Baden and do one of the nicer ones.

There are countless weird European hatchbacks that are front-engine/front-wheel-drive that I might find enjoyable that I know the average person might not. The basic Renault Twingo was co-developed with Mercedes and is not a front-engined and front-wheel drive. It is rear-engined and rear-wheel drive.

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Context 2: I didn’t eat red meat for about a decade of my most formative years, despite living in Texas. This was wasteful and I’m not sure getting to live longer, if that happens, was a fair trade. When it was finally time to have BBQ I went to a place with no reputation and the brisket was bad. I wasn’t impressed. “Maybe brisket wasn’t all that great?” I wondered. Then I had some of that legit, slow-and-low OCD kind of shit and got wrecked. All brisket is not good, some brisket is life altering.

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Being rear-engined and rear-wheel drive is a good formula for fun but you should be Lutheran in your skepticism about its infallibility. The new Smart ForTwo is on the same platform and carries the same drivetrain layout as the Renault Twingo and, while it’s a good city car, it’s not the fun it could or should be.

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Context 3: Marine Le Pen probably should not become the next president of France, but the fact that maybe she could win is alarming. The French have a nationalistic/xenophobic streak that’s not pretty and I believe a God exists, and I therefore have to believe God endorses irony because we’ve left it up to the Germans to protect the world form our worst human instincts.

But the French don’t always get it wrong and the Germans don’t always get it right. Renault, in particular, has a habit of putting engines in the rear of cars, too. Wholly inappropriate ones. While it isn’t a V6 mounted behind the seats, credit the French engineers for engineering the Twingo GT to take 110 horsepower and about 125 lb-ft of torque from a sub 1.0-liter engine and putting it down via a five-speed gearbox. Love is all you need. Love and five forward gears.

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Context 4: I always forget edging is a thing until it comes up as a comedic subplot. There’s also Sting and his supposed tantric exercises. Do people actually bring themselves to the doorstop of orgasmic climax just to hold back? Sounds fun... I guess?

It is easy to get a thrill in a Porsche 911 Turbo or Nissan GT-R or Lamborghini Aventador. Just edge the peddle a couple of times. I’d argue that quick street blasts, though, don’t bring the fulfillment that truly thrashing an automobile can bring and whether because of insurance concerns or the limitations of public roads and decency it is very hard to get to climax with a supercar unless you’ve got the means to not care about wrecking it or access to a track (or some mix of both).

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This isn’t the case for small cars like the Renault or the Fiesta ST. The fun comes easy and coming easy ain’t bad most days. I can’t for 100 percent say this car is fun without driving it. I’ll have to drive it. But it’s fun. I know it’s fun. It’s the fun you want. It’s the fun you don’t need a special harness to enjoy. It’s the fun you deserve.