Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators

If you’re the strong-man despotic leader of a small nation-state with an extra three-quarters of a million dollars of misplaced infrastructure stipend to throw around, Brabus has the perfect vehicle for you. The 800 Adventure XLP, which debuted Wednesday at the Geneva Auto Show, has all of the bells and whistles you might need. It’s longer, taller, and wider, has a spiffy luggage rack, and even comes with a drone.

Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators
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As a well-respected leader with a thirty-year history of unanimous support from your subjects, you deserve more than just a standard Mercedes-Benz G63. It seems like every other leader has one of those.

Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators

This one has been punched up with a pickup bed, a 19.7 inch longer wheelbase, and a widebody kit to make sure you stand out from the crowd of Zastavas and Ssangyongs which populate your island. Brabus claims the modified frame has been reinforced to retain stock G-Class levels of torsional rigidity. And you can win any drag race you choose, as the Brabus G has 789 horsepower and 738 lb-ft of torque with 0-60 sprints taking just 4.8 seconds. That’s what a four-liter twin-turbo V8 is capable of, naturally.

Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators
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In order to navigate the broken streets of your country—someone should really impose a new tax to fix these roads, eh?—Brabus thought ahead and fitted the truck with custom portal axles, 22" wheels with all-terrain tires, and a special suspension for a maximum ground clearance of 19.2 inches. As a bonus, that’s perfect for towering over the proles as you roll through the tenement housing district. Or crushing them in the inevitable attempted coup.

Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators
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Sadly, that raised suspension means the truck’s top speed is limited to a paltry 130 miles per hour. Hopefully that’s enough to whisk you away to your secret bunker in the hills to wait for all of this to blow over.

Maybe the best part is that the Brabus truck comes with a bed-mounted delivery “wingcopter” drone. This bad boy can reach speeds up to 150 miles per hour and is able to transport aid supplies and equipment safely and autonomously over a distance of 75 miles. That’s great for delivering fresh-cooked meals from your team of chefs back at the palace to your secret hideaway. You can wait out an overthrow attempt while still enjoying the comforts of home.

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Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators

The Brabus 800 Adventure XLP starts at an impressive 575,630 euros (equivalent to $626,000 at current exchange rates), but the one you really want is the big boy shown in pictures here which will cost 666,386 euros (or about $725,000) because it’s not really your money anyway, is it? Who cares if your constituents ever get that school you promised when you first ran for office in 1990? Certainly not you.

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Be a Bond villain. Get the Brabus.

Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators
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Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators
Illustration for article titled This Brabus-Tuned G-Wagen Is A 789-HP Pickup For Power-Mad Dictators

Jalopnik contributor with a love for everything sketchy and eclectic.

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