Let's say you invent a suppository that extends your lifespan, keeps you looking young, and gives you an orgasm any time you smell vanilla extract. What would you do with the piles of money you'd make? If you answered "buy a massive yacht that looks like a car and comes with its own supercar," then I'm relieved because that's what I'm writing about.

The yacht is called, classily, the Xhibitionist, and it was designed by Eduard Gray of Gray Design. As far as anyone knows, this crazy, massive yacht only exists in these many, detailed renderings. It's sort of like Eduard Gray has taken the idea of drawing awesome boats and cars and planes stuff that push the limits of taste and reason in his spiral school notebook and turned it into a business.

The Xhibitionist is a very striking and dramatic trimaran-type ship. It's clearly and unashamedly designed along the lines of a car. Specifically, it feels to me something like a an old '30s-era Delahaye or something with those exaggerated long hood/short deck proportions and dramatic, flowing, sweeping fenders.


Most blogs are referring to this as looking like the "Batmobile." That feels a little lazy to me. It's big, swoopy, and a steely yet warm dark grey, but I'm not so sure I really see much Batmobile in here.

The 'hood' area of the yacht folds out to become a big platform, usable as either a helipad, a place to do donuts with your supercar, a stage for when you use your resources to re-animate Nick Drake and have him perform, or anything else you want. The yacht also is capable of working in differing 'modes,' so it can be used for guests, or as a showroom, or for retail. Here, look:

I guess there's a market for a floating, high-end mall I was never aware of? It's possible, I'm barely allowed near land-based Gucci stores as it is.


The yacht is said to be powered by "a choice of hybrid drive systems,' which would be visible behind glass, but since it doesn't actually exist, that could be a hybrid of antimatter/matter reactor and fairy dust. Or maybe an advanced pasta/antipasto reactor system.


The supercar that's designed for the yacht is called the Xhibit G, and at first glance looks a bit like a cross between a Bentley Continental GT Coupé and a modern Cadillac front end. With a little bit of Audi R8 in the middle there.

Like the boat, it exists in the same world where you can get a full-release massage from the Tooth Fairy while a unicorn watches, and in that world the carbon fiber and aluminum and probably adamantium Xhibit G has 630 HP V12 and has a limited top speed of 155. Because, you know, when you're making shit up, safety first.


I know our readership is about 25% Bond villains and/or future Bond villains and other assorted supervillian billionaires, so I'm pretty sure one of you will be ordering one of these soon enough. And once that happens, it'll become real, which will be a nice step up from this bonkers pipe-dream of wealth-masturbating.