So, Apple just had their big event thing where they showed off their incredible ability to remove ports from laptops and make some $10,000 wrist walkie-talkies. Apple puts on a good show, and automakers probably paid attention. Which might mean we'll start hearing car companies start saying stuff like this.


"We've made the next Accord over 43% thinner."

"We completely re-engineered the window raise/lower switch. We studied over 1400 hours of close-up footage of fingers depressing the switches, and have developed a new dichromium-steel spring mechanism to deliver the finest window raising or lowering experience you've ever had."

"Every Mirage is milled out of a solid block of aluminum."

(Just showing about 45 minutes of fetishized footage of aluminum and steel being poured into engine block molds while their chief designer with a refined British accent drones on and on about the process that would make the How It's Made voice-guy fall asleep.)

"And, for those looking for something really special, a Kia Car edition Kia Soul with all 18K gold body panels will be available for $750,000."

"The dream of a silent, fan-less, vent-less, grille-less automobile has finally been realized, and you can forget the almost certain danger of death by fire when you experience the incredible quiet and serenity this new, simple design affords."

"We promise to make the best-engineered, highest-quality product possible that will become obsolete and end up in a desk drawer in two to three years time, guaranteed."

Okay, your turn.

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